PS 635 

Z9 
D329 
Copy 1 



« T\ 




DUCAL 
HAPS 




A Drama 

in 
Four Acts 



BY 



FRANK DE GUERRE 



Copyrighted (ALL RIGHTS RESERVED) 

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1901, by Frank De Guerre, in the 
office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C, U. S. A. 



THE I 8*A*Y ^P 

Two Om» K«*v«> 

APR. I 1902 

Garmmrr tKTWi 

0<*. 7. /9«' 
OLAM-G JOfc No. 

oofnr o. 



DUCAL 
HAPS 

A Drama in Four Acts 



. 



FRANK DE GUERRE 



SAN FRANCISCO 

PRESS OF UPTON BROS. 

190 1 



CHARACTERS 



Duke. Of Calais. 

Cedo. Bosom companion of the Duke. 

. AR V Italian lords, in league with smugglers. 

Monsieur FaerieT. An eccentric citizen of Calais. 

CourET. Ducal steward — old retainer of the duke. 

Mirieux I 

Grepieux / Cooks and Bakers in the ducal household. 

Landieux ) 

War Messenger. 

Blanche. Daughter to M. Farriet. 

Adelaide. Friend to Blanche. 

Laundress. 

Courtiers, furors, Constables, Messengers, Valets, Guards, etc. 

Scene — Sea-coast province of France. 

Time — Fifteenth Century. 



TMP92-009077 



DUCAL HAPS. 

A DRAMA 

IN FOUR ACTS 



By FRANK De GUERRE 



ACT I. 

Scene. A Garden with an Arcade and Palace in the back 
ground. 

[Enter Couret and Baker.'] 

COURET. 
Yours in all reverence, man, speak on — 
Yet I will heed no further than my wit 
Doth bid me give a willing countenance. 

Baker. 
So far then heed: That our beloved Duke 
Came rightly by his state, we are apprised; 
But that he caters for the public weal, 
Or seeks to wield the ducal power with 
That royal — firm — unflinching dignity 
The populace expect, stands now in doubt. 
As I sincerely love the youthful duke, 
I would not have his motives misconstrued, 
Yet he has acted strangely, given out 
So poor a show of statesmanship that men 
Well tuned in governing have marked his flaws. 



4 DUCAL HAPS 

COURET. 
Be quiet ! friend, harp not so of the past; 
On, to a bright and peaceful future look. 
What's past defies all cure; then why dilate 
On threadbare happenings immured in doubt, 
When presaged ills so copiously admit 
Of themes for their prevention. 

Baker. Ah ! You speak 

As did the great Goliah when he met 
The stripling David; likely you may learn 
That simple faults are sometimes hardest conquered. 

COURET. 
So craven foes are best encountered with 
A fierce exterior, a blaz'ning tongue 
And confident superiority. 
What, if I stand and gape, their tongues 
The while browbeating all that tends to right ! 
Should I in muteness keep and list their gab ? 
Or by an offish independence own 
Myself a party to their calumny ? 
Look now, how pleasantly the plan conceives ! 

Baker. 
I own it sets us in peculiar plight?, 
Yet have we no alternative than that 
We must our tipping conscience keep within 
A peaceful quietude. 

COURET. You do mistake, 

More rests with us than to assume defense; 
Has mighty God but given wit to men 
As fenders for their private woes ? Or has 
He left injunctions on the precious gift, 
Entailing to our needful like the gist 
Of its inherent goodness ? Sir, had I 
A cat — 

Baker. 
Aye, if you had a thousand eats, 

The court must have fresh bread ! A plague on you 
I took you for a reas'ner, now I find 
You more affect the moralist, who once 
So preached unto his fellowmen, that those 
Who but for him had kept their mean turned bout 
And delved in freshly learned iniquity. 
Thus — craving pity, we do often show 
The which we would not have our neighbors know. 
Peace to the question ! let this be an end, 
Though ye be my senior, I tell thee friend — 



DUCAL HAPS 5 

More is there kneaded in our own affairs, 

That closer on the duke's existence hears. 

Come on, I'll strike thee in a better vein, 

Before this subject I essay again. (Exeunt.) 

Enter Cedo shabbily attired, reading a letter. 

Cedo. " If you would know a thing or two" — (Faith, I wouldn't 
mind a thing or three) — " that wanders from your routine in life, 
don your worst clothes ," — (I was about to say I had no worse clothes, 
thinking my court togs were all I owned, but haply by an over- 
look in well agreeing times this suit was left me,) — "and come 
secretly to me to-tnorrow morning. I will be above the arcade at 
eight o'clock. Armand Couret. ' ' 

Now is the ordered time and this the place, 
That I must hearken to a tale so base, 
It raises me before my wonted time, 
And stands me shiv'ring in a wintry clime. 
Woe uato you and yours, Armand Couret, 
The cost you'll rue forever and a day, 
If that you tinge my hearing with a yarn, 

That boasts no good nor savors aught in harm. [Enter Couret.) 
Ah ! in the nick of time. Good morning, friend ! 

CouRET. Good morning, and a host of well earn'd thanks. 

Cedo. 
True to your note's most strange requirements, 
By reason of whose ambiquity, 
I more for curiosity than gain, 
Attead your will. 

Couret. Aye, you will soon admit 

The profit worth the venture; know you this, — 
There's not a domiciled employee on 
The duke's payroll, but doth interpret him 
(To questioning outsiders,) as an ass; 
When this not surfeits they oft congregate 
In whisp'ring mobs, and trade their sev'ral points, 
To be inflated by repeated telling. 

Cedo. 
Why, this is treason in its greatest bourne ! 
The very depth of piracy ! 

Couret. And so 

Since his installment hath the order been, 
No more our ruler makes but hath a rude 
Discordant echo in their criticisms. 

Cedo. 
Is this in progress now ? If so I will 
Confront the scandal mongers and disperse 
The rabid meeting as a bombshell would 



6 DUCAL HAPS 

A ladies' jewel case ! 

Couret. That were poor policy, 

To thus ignore my finesse, and scout on 
A thoughtless and impromptu mission bred, 
From out the prejudicial hearing of 
A long matured plan; these were the means 
That floored his predecessors and gave him 
The office he was born to. Sir, I watch'd 
The former ducal reigning well; saw when 
The first conspiring seed took root, Beheld 
The many loose and varied discontents 
Accounted nothing by the noble sires, 
Till stood their midst a forward nucleus 
(A very Gabriel around whom flock'd 
Weak-kneed dissenters and apostates all), 
Then did they see their power recognized, 
And, with entire accord arose and smote 
Their most impotent ruler to the earth ! 
Should not this teach the mighty cunning? Ah ! 
Ye men of higher state, look much too far; 
While brooding on a distant phantom fear, 
Your stagnant intervening ground doth form 
A nest for treasoning conspirators. 
Mark ! If you be not strong in your stronghold, 
(Which is the sanctum of domestic weal,) 
Beware the outer sieging ! You perchance 
May think I am a vain, presumptuous wretch 
In overstepping so the hireling's bound, 
And leading you; (so far above my sphere.) 
Yet you must know the .'•pint of the times 
Will oft necessitate that kings shall stoop 
To be advised of men, not worthy of 
A Christian burial. But that my lot 
Would not allow me to excite their ire, 
I would at once unto the duke unfold 
My knowledge of his set. 

Cedo. I rather would 

Believe you were possessed of some ill wind 
Which venting crooked truth gives out a lie, 
Then think (in mercy) you some part abscind, 
That might a matter of more weight descry. 

Couret. 
Abide your time before my say, you flout, 
For shortly will the mongrels be about, 
May then your eyes my honest vouchers be, 
'Tis hard believing, still, 'tis truth to see. 
Look ! Now they come, nay, stir not from this spot, 
The sharp'st observer here would know you not. 



DUCAI, HAPS 7 

{Enter Cooks, Valets, Hirelings of the Duke, etc.) 

Cook. 
An I say beef, he will accordance give, 
Or what I choose, it matters not the kind, 
No sapient stir opposes my set wish. 
I verily believe, were I to cook 
An old tann'd hide, he'd eat without complaint. 

1ST VaIvET. 
'Tis ever so with me, say what I will. 
He enters straight and sanctions it with eye. 
If he desires his brown mare saddled up, 
And I the white suggest, (or say I black 
Or dapple gray) in truth he'll not protest; 
Or should he order some light vehicle, 
And I a clumsy cart fetch out, 'twill suit, 
Or bring I naught, the end his favor spies. 
As for my riggings, they are always styled 
To suit my fancy — hence my outward dress 
Proverbial makes the common inquiry 
" Which is the DukeV 

Baker. Most vain effrontery ! 

Know well thyself, proud egotist ! and leave 
Assumption of" such highborn graces to 
A better clown; Or if you needs must play 
At postulation, let thy goal be 
A mark within thy limit, lest thy name 
(Which now but smacks of coxcomby,) will swell; 
Augment itself from that you practice till 
The word conceit be taken for 't ! No more ! 
I have an innate loathing of such men, 
Who when they prate use loose extremities, 
Or when enjoying harmless parley, will 
Abuse the list'ners' ear; all doubts of this - 
Were hushed, if } 7 ou would but consider well 
The tenor of his argument in which 
By tacit vileness, open calumny, 
Yea, broaching his lone tenet he would make 
Apostates of us all ! Heed him who will, 
But I am for the duke, and would not rob 
A better of his need ! And so farewell. {Exit.) 

1ST Vai,et. 
Good friends ! Indulge me but a moment's time, 
In that I'll prove (by confirmation of 
Some present witnesses,) that I for truth 
Have kept a strict observance, furthermore 
Where'er the tale laid 'gainst the Duke, I've let 
The rugged juttings of pernicious truth, 
In silence seem as virtues; for conceit 



8 DUCAL HAPS 



Ask neighbors hereabout, and with my life 
I'll stand the bout of your enquiring minds ! 

2D Valet. 
Aye, marry, it no easy matter is 
To slight agreement with our gracious Duke; 
Why oft (in whims of contrariety,) 
His orders with impunity I've cross'd, 
Persuading him from his avowed intent. 
As he'd no right to be an epicure, 
But like a peevish, sickly child fresh wean'd, 
Has appetite to suit some elder sage ! 
And thou, old pastry ! Give free vent, I say ! 
How rides the subject of our chat with thee? 
When thy deft fingers and thy slimy art 
Doth stock the showing of thy labor with 
Vile properties; doth make the leaven' d bread 
To vie in heft the heaviest lead, doth singe 
The cookies, waffles, and the butter cakes — 
Leave to the rage of an ill-governed flame; — 
When these and more of like similitude, 
Are by your grace committed, How's the wind? 
Conforms he to thy grave mishaps? or chides he thee, 
That sober looks sit on thy floury phiz so well? 

COURET. 
Nay, lay it on when I'm the butt, and tune 
Thy wriggling tongue as inclination prompts; 
But spare thy manhood when the subject is 
(By gleanings of thine own account,) a man 
Empowered with a might, the bent of which 
Could purge thy life of pleasure, yet prefers 
To give a pleasing acquiescence where 
Thy happiness requires. 'Tis scurvy sport 
To lightly treat a matter of such moment, 
To mock an infant Duke, who bears himself 
As aged dukes ne'er did before; Who looks 
So carefully to thy content, he'd give 
No order past thy will. 

2D Valet. Thou speakest aright, 

I am in all abash'd. When spoke I so 
I lacked thought, but now I think, and lack 
A tongue to rear excuses for my gab. 

ist Valet. 

And may his tongue lose pow'r of speech, who first 
Speaks illy of the Duke ! 

{Enter Laundress.) 
Couret. Ah ! pretty maid— 

(Give her good greeting friends. ) What's out of tune, 






DUCAL HAPS 9 

That your initial visit falls upon 
So cold a morn ? 

Laundress Our loving Duke's astir, 

And walks about with solemn deathlike tread; 
And looks — I know not how, so very strange; 
His laughing merry look, is sternly changed 
To one of gloomiest perplexity; 
He eyed me straight, yet saw me not, else would 
He nod or speak to me; So he pass'd on, 
So did he gaze on ev'ry common thing. 
His right arm raising skyward, then his left, 
Next followed both in wild confusion, or 
A seeming supplication to his God; 
Belike he's crazed, or hath some troublous ill 
Too deeply rooted in his mind. 

CEDO. Crazy ! 

COURET. 
How'er the sequel is, from this henceforth 
His pleasure be my study. 

Laundress. Thanks Couret. 

ist Valet. And mine, 
2D VAEET. And mine, 

3D Valet. And mine. 

Couret. So are we all 

Bent on his future happiness; and home 
For him will be, as home should be. 

Laundress. Well said ! 

If done, why better; now with right good will 
We'll to our tasks. [Exeumt all but Cedo. 

Cedo. Hum ! what a measly set ! 

The making of a man not 'mongst the lot 
Mireux — he spoke the which abounds in flaws 
And staled it by a repetition; then 
Grepieux — no brighter wit has he than have 
The common herd; but as a man in debt 
Is ever loudest mouthed he must perforce 
Maintain dull silence or too soon expose 
The whence of his intelligence. Who's next? 
Landieux, Ah ! Yes, thy mouth should give thee room 
What if thy form were well proportioned to 
Thy roomy mug — I then were but a flea ! 
Alas ! methinks the gods deformed thee so, 
That flies in lieu of men might fear thee ! 
Then Jean — within the pale of his bright wit 
Lies his deceit — the very lowest wretch ! 
To pose himself an equal of the Duke ! 



IO DUCAL HAPS 

Ungrateful wretches all ! Was it for ye 

The Duke subserved his regal dignity ? 

I'll never think it, — but concoct a means 

Whereby to segregate the malcontents, 

Or All — the whipping post and banishment. (Exit) 

(Enter Duke in sombre meditation.) 

Duke. 
A dream ! A weird imagination ! All ! 
Why give it sober thought? Yet am I help'd 
To this grave state, by truths I cannot pass, 
Nor doubt with cause, so vivid were they set 
And played to life in my mind's recreation; 
With tireless zeal and utmost nicety, 
It pick'd my closest courtiers, saving few, 
And cast them in a glowing, bungi'd heap, 
With placards o'er each one, on which were written 
Some 1 earful vice suggestive of the man; 
Methought I saw a gaunt ungainly frame 
Arising from a cloud of raging fire ! 
From out his mouth there leapt a brace of tongues, 
Like serpents, fork'd, that spat white heat; 
With arms outstretch'd, and piercing eyes askant, 
He showed his loathing of the blemished mass; 
Then on me turned his hideous ghostly glare, 
Distorted features and his warning hand, 
Conjuring me (in awe-commanding tone,) 
Revise my ways and wield my sceptre with 
More seeming grace; Then paused as 'twere to gain 
New fiedg'd momentum for another sally; 
And I (trausfixed with horror there withstood) 
His fixed stare, bereft of speech and motion ! 
Anon, he opes his lips ! — Thunder outnois'd ! 
Pandemonium ! Ye gods forbid 
My ears shall list another of the kind ! 
So highly season'd with severe rebukes — 
My ev'ry good transformed to vilest ill, — 
My ev'ry studied judgment silly prov'd 
All trusted friends adjudg'd enemies; 
Where saw I meanest faults virtues appear' d; 
Where saw I purest virtue reigned faults; — 
Contraries mingled — similars undone; — 
Alternate freezing, boiling dire extremes, 
Wag'd to their highest pitch, when nature's laws 
O'erstrained, deposed his cruel tenancy 
To yield me freedom of a waking hell ! 
Lives there a cause within this wretched world 
So oft beset with grievous ills as mine ? 
Heir to the realm ! A duke, alas a duke ! 
Much rather would I be a brainless pimp, 









DUCAL HAPS II 

Or some contented knave of equal worth, 

Than as I am and jealousied the title, 

In whose drifts I meet my malcontent ! 

All hallowed peace, sweet mother of content ! — 

Come share with me thy soothing potent spell, 

And shield me from my aggravating self! — 

The soul-entrancing charm of thy depute 

Like sweetest perfume on the senses steals; 

Drowns all woes in soundless seas, 

Pares all ill to joyous weal, 

Kneads to love all bitter hate, 

And crowns thee queen of goodness ! — 

Yet I am not for thee, nor thee for me; 

While seeming that I am, I better prove 

That, I am not. If ev'ry man were put 

Where bides his proper talent, where would I ? 

But here alack, by fortune's faulty act 

I am a duke, and being duke, must duke it. 

What ho ! I have a melancholic mate ! 

He comes this way — his passage I'll await. 

'Tis said that men in trouble go in grooves 

Or act as counterparts; — So in his moves 

Will I as in a truthful mirror see 

How insignificant a duke may be. 

(Duke steps aside.) 

{Enter Barto.) 

Barto 
Full three-score times have I this arbor pass'd ! 
Full three-score times have I in wonder glared 
Upon this ernpty space, that now should hold 
For my distress a living comforter ! 
I'll call, perchance he doth so closely watch 
The doubtful standing of my business, 
Our rendezvous slips from his mind; Andreas ! 
Andreas ! Voice to the wind that hither brings 
Naught but a mocking echo. Patience ! patience ! 
But 'tis a wearing article; in me 
Now worn past remedy; for, lacking doubt 
'Tis past the 'pointed hour by a half, 
Yet does he truant play. Would he were here. 

* * * * * * {Paces the garden.) 
The worst were preferable this suspense ! 

(Enter Andreas.) 

Most welcome sight ! proclaim thy longed for news ! 

Andreas. 
Blunt, honest, friendship my apology 
For being pert, and starting on the point 



12 DUCAL HAPS 

That bears most heavy on the matter. 
With less ado I'll to the end, or to 
The ultimate beginning of the end; — 
I sped to Mileneux by thy commands, 
Sought out thy factor there, when in a whiff, 
Without a question he thy all did tell, 
As if 'twere fact substantial, past all doubt, 
Thy lately blasted ventures, blighted hopes, 
Extol'd he to their furthest boundary, 
Intending rather to convince of loss, 
Then buoy thy spirits falsely. All thy ships 
Unto the dukedom now are confiscate, 
Aye, all as contraband the state has siez'd; 
Even now the messengers are arrived, 
Who voyage here this matter to unfold. 

Barto. 
Straight to the Duke will they, then whither I ? 
For when 'tis known, 'twere better I should die 
Than be upon so dire a purpose standing, 
Twixt life and death, meat for fools bandying. 

Andreas. 
Yea, when 'tis known, may then you seek your grave ! 
But they no implicating knowledge have 
Of you, of yours, or tangible effects, 
So their report (with you) bounds in defects. 

Barto. 

Then all is verity ! My God, that I, 

Who in the ducal favor ranks most high, 

And entertain'd no title short of Sir ! — 

That I whom kings and queens have audienced, 

Aye, knighted for my comely mien, where 

Undoubted valor rusted for a glance ! — 

That I, whose word was deem'd sufficient bond 

For sums involving princely fortunes, should 

To penury by one mishap be cast ! — 

The step's too great ! too great ! Still must I yield 

To decorate a niche in pauperdom ! 

Andreas. 
Sh— Barto, Less of this ! 'Twere follies heighth 
To brood on that where is no earthly help; 
Ne'er saw you hills but valleys did abound, 
Nor aught in purity beyond a flaw, 
Nor mortal state that mock'd not constancy. 
And would'st thou grasp unchanging nature's laws 
To make a mutable defective toy, 
Whereon the cravings of thy lot may feed ? 
Would'st pass what was, what is, and will be ? No ! 



DUCAL HAPS 13 

So sure as water seeks the downward grade, 
You on no bed can lie save that you've niade ! 

Barto. 
Thou mock'st rne with effects; pray quickly turn 
To present causes, where they touch upon 
A future circumvention. 

Andreas, {aside.) (I'll play it harsh, 

Or seem it so, and wean him from this gloom.) 
What should I say, that gives thee not offense? 
Years have you liv'd a lie, made all believe 
The costly manner of thy keeping, — the style 
And number of thy banquets, the product of 
Royal annuities as boundless as 
The unfound treasures of the earth; whereas 
To foot thy honest gainings would not show 
The value of a penny. 

Barto. Tut! Tut! man, 

Have done with this, I'm in no mood for lectures, 
Straight to the point ! 

Andreas. How now, philosophy ! 

Creeps on the climax with such toward speed, 
That here a mind in melancholy breath'd, 
By followed respiration delves in anger? 
By my true soul, this is the sort of mood 
That betters good, diameters the girth, 
Strips can't of-T — and makes the will the might. 
I fear me much, were I to stand and wait 
The winter through I would not stumble on 
A more befitting moment to divulge 
The import of the motion I would make. 
Know then the true effects, ere I recount 
The queer erratic manner of the cause; — 
If fortune favors it, earth's heaven's yours; 
But sh >uld it fail, hell's fire holds no heat 
That singes where thy downfall will consume ! 

Barto. 
Out on you for a babbler ! Say no more ! — 

Andreas. 
'Twere better left unsaid than said without effect; 
I know no course of thy avail, but marriage. 

Barto. 
Why surely friend Andreas you are distraught ! 
I know but half a month and that's my all, 
So save my prestige, should the limit fail. 
Escape's my only chance; so please project 
Some quicker move than now thy lips command. 



14 DUCAL HAPS 

Andreas. 
Know you old Farriet? 

Barto. I do; so far 

As gossip's tongue gives knowledge of a neighbor; 
The people say, (and rightly too I think) 
He is a man within himself retired; 
Has few acquaintances and fewer friends; 
Is misanthropic and possessor of 
More wealth, than any dweller in the land. 

Andreas. 
And is the sire of as sweet a maid, 
As rare a group of virtue's choicest gifts, 
As e'er on French soil trod; She may be called 
A Venus resurrected for her shape 
Which, when compared with other inborn charms, 
Flies quickly from the eye of criticism. 

Barto. 
Most like, but what imports her many charms 
That bodes us aught for our advantage ? 

Andreas. All — 

Each sep'rate Christian grace reveals a point 
Which aids us in our purpose; as she lacks 
So do we lack; were she less than is she, 
Our task were harder, but as she now is, 
Her pure warm heart bears molding at our will. 

Barto. 
Now can I tell the vane on this wild wind, 
Yet for a starting move I am perplexed. 

Andreas. 
I have an idea (if you think no better,) 
We will adopt and furnish speedy motion. 
Mraightway before the duke I will produce 
Some score or so of affidavits (made 
By men within the Holy-See entrenched.) 
That Farriet has long unloyal been; 
That he by virtue of — well we'll invent — 
Doth stand amenable to common law. 
What can the duke, but cause imprisonment ? 
Then for your courting; His fond daughter will 
With pleading tongue the court besiege; urge all 
To save her father; which entreaty none 
(Not e'ven the lowest vassal of the court) 
Would harken to; Then yield your sympathy; 
Make known to her thy power o'er the duke, 
Which for her father's cause you'll aptly wield, — 
Fill in with all the tender ifs and buts 



DUCAL HAPS 15 

So soothing to dejected minds, — Condole 

In all the many ways that love (if there) would grasp. 

If played aright this cannot fail 

But breed for thee success; 

Her maiden heart will turn to thee 

And virgin love confess. 

Barto. 
Come then, let's home, and this plan we'll mature 
Though rife with grave faults, it is slow and sure. 

{Exeunt. Barto and Andreas.) 

Duke. 
Hear I with other's ears, or have I borrowed e3'es? 
Is this the sequel of my wretched dream 
Or dream I on and think I wake ? But no ! 
My senses with undaunted pith now play; 
What e'er I take in hand I know its feel. 
Or that mine eyes reflect, I know its sight; 
Still I would fain believe the lie ! Barto, — 
My yokemate and my dearest friend, a fraud? 
Impossible ! and yet 'tis true, eise would 
He mouth a firm denial when 
That scheming villainous poltroon exposed 
The trick of his apparent welfare. 
Alas ! when he who shares my bosom thoughts 
Turns traitor and connives at beuefit, 
On whom can I rely ? 

Enter Cedo. (Properly attired) 

Cedo. Yours truly my lord 

What is't that troubles you? Confide in me 
As do the ladies all, find me but one 
Who links mistrust with my gr.-ive title, I 
Will give thee leave to go barefoot; Aye more 
Cite me an adult male who airs me ill 
His face I warrant you as black as coal 
Or featured like an owl. {aside) (I'm out of tune, 
The senseless jabber of a chattering ape, 
A frequent source of pleasure, now annoys.) 
My lord, I am not that I seem, I have 

An other self — a silent partner here, {placing hand on heart) 
Who will betimes (despite external show,) 
Assert supremacy; And quick to grief 
Is he, aye quicker, and you free my boast, 
Than any of your count; and so, all thine. 

Duke. 
Thanks for your proffer, but I have no need; 
Mine being but a fancied ill, brooks not 
The same condolence as a living fact. 
Suffice it; all my reign has been a farce, 



1 6 DUCAL HAPS 

That through the revelations of a dream 
I come to know myself, my friends, my foes, 
My acts both good and bad, here lies my woe. 

Cedo. 
I've held thee better than this say would warrant 
And if 'twere back'd not by effusions of 
More sound portent, I'd reason thee insane; 
Why dreams, — are but the wanderings of minds 
Badly stomached; as such they should be treated 
Not 'power'd with a speck of realism 
Or ever troubled with an after thought. 
Were I to tell the thousandth part 
Of the frivolities I've dream'd, — 
Of many chasms I have leapt, — 
Of surging rivers savely swum, — 
Of the aerial flights I've tak'n, — 
Of scorching paths painlessly trod, — 
Of beatings, smoth'rings I've endured 
Whilest Morpheus possess'd my mind; 
That stolid look would quit thy face, 
Thy mouth would fly its firm set phase, 
To find a quirk fit company 
For thy light mirth. 

Duke. Good friend, adjourn ! 

My trouble hath a better prop thau that 
I've broached to thee : Mark me, seest thou two men 
Beyond the garden rail? 

Cedo. I do, my lord; 

And if my vision prove not false, they are, 
Within thy galaxy the brightest stars, 
Lord Barto and his satellite Andrea. 

Duke. 
Go, shadow them, (And if thou wouldst confirm 
Thy boasted love,) lose not a sight of them. 
Mark thou their slightest move as 'twere an act 
Endangering the lives of all thou lovest. 
Have thy report indited, plainly writ', 
That I may keep it as a silent witness. 

Cedo. 
I've heard of mothers doubting sons, 
Of sons their fathers killing; 
Of jesters angling for their puns 
A brother's lifeblood spilling — 
But by the A in tar, this breach of trust 
Doth seem the blackest, having precedence 
O'er all I know of, — Come now, 'tis a joke? 



ducal haps 17 

Duke. 
If jokes be nurtured — fostered thus, then this 
May be so call'd; And I would have it played 
According to my diction, so begone ! 
Do as I bade thee ! 

Cedo. E're thy echo's spent 

I'll on thy mission be what t'ver is meant. {Exit.) 

Duke. 
This then my fixed course hereafter be, 
Judge men by what I know, not what I see. 
Now will I nurse the plot with all amain, 
Though in the lie I lose, in truth I gain. (Exit ) 

Scene Second — Room in Farriet's house. 
(Enter Blanche followed by Adelaide.) 

Ada. 
Baah ! Virtue earneth not its own reward 
Until 'tis tried, — There is no more in grace 
Than is by grace perform'd, — They have the right 
To be enroll'd amid the pure, who know 
The pleasures of a sin — who crave its joys, 
Yet with great effort curb their appetite, 
And shun enticing sweets for virtues sake. 
Who could not be a saint who would immure 
Herself within such walls; — bedim her eyes 
Bedwarf her mind, — and stint her vernal course 
For fear that she might knowledge gain, and thus 
Descry more force in sin than she could cope : 
Such petty ignorance has no excuse 
In this advanced age ! Go to, my sweet, 
Perplex the wise and learn the road to wisdom. 

Blanche. 
Now Adelaide, this is a say unkind; 
I asked not to be canonized, nor yet, 
Have I in thought or simplest act assum'd 
That I a single christian grace possess'd 
Not found among the poorest of your set. 
And in opinion I would be no more 
Than you or any honest girl who tries 
To earn a virtue through a sin's aversion. 

Ada. 
Right! She who slides all faults must virtue hold. 
And yet full knowledge of iniquity 
Promotes a lasting good; The which to gain 
Must find thee student to a diff'rent school. 
I cannot aptly chide to those who weigh 
My weakest, tamest words so heavily. 



1 8 DUCAL HAPS 

True, what's big fun for the little ones is 
little fun for big ones; Tastes, you know, will 
differ, but twixt our likings there is such a 
marked variance, it urges me to think you are 
beyond your teens; — For truly, Blanche, you act 
like an antiquated maid who being denied the 
marital fondling takes to the petting of a parcel 
of brutes — cats, dogs and poll-parrots; — and 
tiring of these, puts her hands in mourning by 
ploughing up the ground about some decrepit 
fuchsia, verbena or other outlandish plant. 
Now all these attentions are unappreciated, 
— j'our plants will bloom, fade, and die betimes; 
— your cat's tail will not bear a treading, and 
your poll will exclaim at most unseasonable 
times. 

Why, do you know 

A tithe of these endearments lavished on 

The coldest most impassible of men, 

Would make his frigid liver glow and change 

Him to the silliest slave of passion ? 

Blanche. 

Friend, counsel me not so ! I would nor could — 
Not seek a pleasure through the course of pain. 
Nor will I be convinced that you would for 
A transient joy, inflict a lifelong woe. 

Ada. 
Stay, Blanche; you judge too harshly of my 
notion. For by the grace of love you have no right 
to judge; you — who by your own admission have 
been imprisoned within these walls since your birth, 
and have never endured an hour's company with 
the sterner sex. How long, pray, does your dear 
anchorital papa intend that you shall play the nun ? 

Blanche. 
No longer than I will it. 

Ada. 

Then will it no longer, Blanche, for my 
sake, — come and enter the world; come taste its 
joys and view its sorrows. 

Blanche. 

You ask no more kind friend than I would grant 
If in the granting aught for good were gained. 






DUCAL HAPS 19 

Ada. 

Where be the ill — and if no ill what then ? 

On fire we can gaze and not get burnt. 

Make this stale fact most vividly appear 

Within the ambit of thy father's ken 

And his permission's granted ; for the rest 

Six moons will find you in a husband blest. (Exit.) 

Blanche. 
Why should I party be in such desires? 
Where midst my range of neighbors can I see 
More comforts — pleasures than abide with me? 
O, friend ! Why didst thou urge me in a sort 
That giving aye or nay in my retort? 

{Enter Farriet.) 
Misleads devotion from its native wend 
And wrongs a father to oblige a friend. 

Farriet. 
Good daughter here — for lack of day, the night 
(Time's truant substitute,) doth yield the hour 
I gravely pledged diurually to save 
For our conjunctive weal and interchange 
Of sweetest confidence; Not for a trick 
In business would I my promise break, 
No ! Nor for the weightiest matters casual. 
The cause that renders my excuse, is blank, 
'Tis neither here nor there, but 'tis a thing (exhibits paper) 
Of most uncertain seem, being thro*n in 
When business waning I was free to look. 
And look, and think I did, and now peruse; — 
Anon my child, ere you this paper read, 
Uncloud thy face, no penance will I veer, 
For staying hence, when promise bound me here. 

Blanche. 
Kind father, right, but I'll no penance lay, 
You do so rarely slip your plighted word 
I cannot now be strict, — Yet for a boon 
I'll press the deepest fount wherefrom vou spurt 
Your most endearing shows, — Be now in dread — 
My wish it is to enter in the world ! 

Farriet. 
My sweetest, I had rather thou hads't crav'd 
The fauna of the frigid zone, the bud 
And blossoms of centennial plants, — aye, each 
And ev'ry rare exotic and sweet fern, 
That wakes huge effort or commands great price ! 
La ! How I prate ! As though my selfish love 



20 DUCAL HAPS 

By thus advising you did help itself 

To its most wish'd for state — not so my child — 

Not thine for me, but ever mine for thee; — 

The order of my life doth this avouch. 

What that you would have I not then procur'd? 

No thought of cost, of time, or other part 

Did lose a gift to thee within the bounds 

Of mother nature, wherein all pleasure bides, — 

None find without elysian joy unchang'd. 

Hast quite forgott'n the brace of lines I taught 

When you with famished ears gave heed? If so 

I'll tell them o'er that you may choose anew, — 

" Those who in nature seek for pleasure 

Ne' 'er find content beyond their measure." 

He has a glove indeed that fits all hands, 

Yet here is such a one possess'd; no ill 

But finds appeasement in't; No crescent hope 

But is companion'd; and your preacher too, 

Is here to his discredit shown; his best 

Is bettered and his opiated saws 

In brevity and dumbness are delivered. 

Then why seek out what is, unsought for, found, 

Be blest in that you have and fly the sin 

That lustre gives the world and sends thee shade. 

Fie on my age ! my dotage I might say, 

That strives to check a course of nature, which 

The roll of years must instance ! Have thy wish, 

With my unbiased permit you can now 

Devote your time unto society. 

BLANCHE. 

Believe me, I would rather have a no 
In kindness, than a yes so rudely giv'n. 
Hush we the matter now, ere long you may 
Report me with a freer will. 

Farriet. No child, 

I never yet, nor ever shall debar 
You from your slightest wish; though I 
May seem ungraciously to yield in this. 

There is no effable or unvoiced plea, {Passes paper to Blanche) 
Could make me waver! For this parchment, you 
Must read — misunderstanding, — question, — I 
Will then my own interpretation give. 

(Blanche reads.) 
" Friend to the cause and right support ; {for so 
By acclamation thou art here proclaimed) 
We humbly thank thee for the favors past 
And give thee greeting ever; Our numbers now 
Are threbl'd, as a consequence our arms 



DUCAL HAPS 21 

Do fall ten thousand short in an equipment, — 
Which deficiency our present urgent needs 
Compel submittance to thy bounteous self; 
Do but forward the means, and by thy hint 
We will the duke overthrow fore this day week. 
{P. S.) 

The Farriets are soldiers of the sword, 
Of little talk and much ado, — our note 
I hope will so be Ta' en. 

Jean Lelieviere." 
Means this not something more than these stray lines 
Upon their face suggest? 

Farriet. A treason sure 

Would this in any court be call'd, and I 
No more transgressor than the babe unborn, 
Am stuck here to receive it; Who should send 
So queer a message to me, I could not 
Upon my life give sating answer; That 
I know of this foul Lelieviere falls short 
Of commonest report. But this I know — 
The sender of this note doth mean me harm ! 
And meet it is that we destroy; Go, child, 

Despatch it in the flames. {Loud and continued knocking with- 
out, then enter several constables). 
How, now ! Have we no servants 'bout the place 
Can keep such base intruders out the gates? 
Wherefore ! Wherefore ! Rude men ! mock ye the law ? 
If so ye do, it shall be answered well ! 

ist Con. 
Mark men how ill he apes the saint ! The law — 
(Thou base conspiring knave !) doth only err 
In thus permitting thy most wicked life ! 
If 'twere not so, thy wind, ere now were cut. 
What may this be ? {snatches paper from Blanche). 
Lay to — I'll wage it is 

A scrip divulging new unheard of crimes, 
That he with cursed lucre has perfom'd, 
(Through mediums in beggary), under 
The most alert and omnipresent ween 
Of our force : Oh Treason ! Bind him ! We 
A fearful danger brave by gazing on, 
When he, perchance, hath here confederate hid, 
Well drilled in bloody butcheries ! 

(Enter Barto). 

Barto — Hold slaves ! 

Have ye no care for age nor thought of youth, 
That ye a simple summons of the court 
Cannot deliver without such dire abuse ? 



22 DUCAL HAPS 

Unhand him. I will answer to the Duke 

For all that's deficit in your commands. 

March out, and whilst you are upon these grounds 

Make you no more of }M>ur authority 

Than circumstances warrant. 

1ST Con. Here, my lord, 

Look you on this and then be judge of us, 
If we've oe'rdone what we are sworn to do, 
This paper backs us in excuse, if not 
We then not understand our oath of office. 

[Exeunt Con). 

Barto. 
That soon will be considered, and for this {presenting paper) 
Good neighbor, friend, it reads qmte harsh for you. 
For love of truth you are not fed'rate to 
Such men as Lelieviere? It cannot be 
That you would daily risk foreclosure of 
Such beatific home-born charms, to league 
With vandals in a losing cause? 

Farriet. Quite right, 

No more know I of this vile business, 
Than that this forged writing found its way 
Into my inner office, there I first 
Knew of the matter, then my daughter read, 
And whilst in very act of reading, we 
Were here (but now,) by thee and thine arous'd. 

Barto. 
The Gods forfend I should be party to 
Such rude unchristian acts ! I fain would rate 
Thy sterling friend : Behold a present proof 
This damning note I'll rend ! 

Blanche. No, no, kind sir, 

To much you hazard by so brave an act ! 
Aloof from jeopardy in our behalf 
Thou canst well keep and still our friendship earn : 
For hast thou not already offered up 
Thy oath'd allegiance? And will yet allow 
A good intention to mislead thy sense 
In further bootless service for our loves. 
By the destruction of this paper, which 
Was scanned from end to end by that same man 
Who led the rabble thither; For our loves 
Thy first commanding word did borrow them, 
Never to be return'd. 

Farriet. What sir, in words 

May well express thy hold on me, I am 
Most grievously at fault; — The afterclap 



DUCAL, HAPS 23 

(If such there ever be) must me resolve 
And there enact what now I cannot speak. 
And good daughter, thou hast ask'd to see 
The flitting mazes of this wicked world; 
See them thou shalt in all varieties, 
From very lowest depth to highest heighth; 
From thieve's existence to a noble's life; 
Aye, thou shalt have a pane ramie view 
Of all the golden splendors and mock shows, 
That render up thy fantasy — the world. 

Blanche. 
Please, father, do bespeak me diff 'rently ! 

Farriet. 
I would I were not able to denote thee — 
That thy pure mother had as maiden died, 
So my humility were left unshar'd ! 
On ! Jailer on, we tarry much too long ! 
Farewell, f-weet child ! Kind daughter Blanche farewell ! 
No child was ever more affectionate, 
Nor did unbidden offer more than thou, 
Adieu, my sweetest only friend, adieu ! 

CURTAIN. 



ACT II. 

Scene I. — Room in Palace, furnished with Secretary, etc. 
(Cedo and Andreas, encircled with Jurors, discovered.) 

Cedo. 
Friends, sirs, in all but this; had you pursued 
A legal trend, as it doth sort you should, 
We even now were friends, and one poor soul, 
That through your insane verdict scarce hath time 
To eye his fate and make his peace with God, 
Were yet with loyal heart and honored age 
Sweet liberty enjoying ; Whereas he dwells 
In full anticipation of his death. 
Upon a floor of stone, begirt with walls 
The Cyclops hammer could not phase ; his bed 
Of boards the soft side none can find, his stool 
Repentance of an uncommitted crime. 
O sirs ! how could you so mistake yourselves 
As one unto the other weld your thoughts, 
And yield in unison a verdict which 
No more effects the case in hand, than doth 
The highway's fork affect the river's mouth ? 

ist Juror. 
Being sworn in we were in honor bound, 
Our verdict to deliver as the batch 



24 DUCAL HAPS 

Of witnesses deposed. How then could we 
(If so we will'd) another verdict give? 

Cedo. 
Yes ! Yes ! Ye don the form of justice, yet 
The spirit lags and ye'll not tarry for't ! 
All evidence educ'd, commanded or 
Enforced by cross-examination is 
With equal poise received ; The worth of him 
Who testifies, the manner of his speech, 
And manifold auxilliaries that gauge 
The weight and force of testimony, ye 
Do pass unseen, and think ye truly act 
The laws of justice, — She who is indeed 
Blindfolded and possess'd of scales. O, men ! 
Where were your better parts when you pronounc'd 
So harsh a sentence for so cade a show 
Of criminal intention ? Could it be — 
That you — But no, I must awhile withhold 
What I should say. 

All— Eh? 

Cedo— Good sirs, adieu. 

{Exit Cedo). 

ist Juror. 
My fellow jurors, it doth stand us well 
To hear but few expressions of this tone ; 
Indeed, methinks the safer course would be, 
To hie us earshot hence, lest by a slip 
Some of our number may themselves commit 
And lay all liable. 

2nd Juror. 'Tis well propos'd, 

And touches near our thrift, to ruminate 
How best to part and whither ; Another put 
In such a key as was the former part 
Of this well earned censure, I had leak'd 
The dregs of goodness I yet own, and spilt 
This goodly number all to scaffold drops. 
Think then how frail uncertain is our course, 
When we do daily such assailments brave, 
As our best reason tells us must betime 
Extort an inadvertent self confession. 

i.st Juror. 

To Havre then I do propose we sail, 

And from there severally go to ports 

Whence we (if need) may here be quickly summon'd. 

How is it friends, do we in this agree ? 



DUCAL HAPS 25 

All — Yea ! Yea ! 

Andreas. 
Then hence with expedition go ! 
About the court will I remain, and post 
You speedily on what may yet befall 
The working of our plan. So, now, away ! 
Lo — where the worthy Barto comes, and he 
(More like a woman than a man) is of 
Such tender facile ways, he would ill brook 
A jury late employ'd in such gross kind. 

ist Juror. 
Come haste' we to embark ; I would not be 
Encounter'd so again, for thrice the fee 
Our services command. 

{Exeunt all but Andreas). 

Andreas. Thus will a word 

Emboss'd with knotty ifs and counter buts, 
Seduce the safest upright man who treads 
The portals of the court ; Forsooth, poor fools, 
To give the lie is often to withhold the truth, 
And yield its zemblance, So thy promis'd fee 
Insured thee stable footing in the court ; 
This shall ye have, until the hangman come 
And claim ye for the crossroads; {Enter Barto followed by Cedo, 

who hides himself .) which is when 

Ye strive to clog the axe whereon revolves 
Our wheel of fortune. Ah ! Most timely met — 

Barto. 
So do thy looks foretell; — If by an eye 
(The bright forerunner of the mind's tumult,) 
We may be jud><e of what is there contained, 
Ye should have merry news; Out, then retail ! 
What 'tis that furrows so thy youthful face 
And makes thy very aspect clownish like, 
With saving of a pent-up tale ! 

Cedo {aside.) Out pen ! 

May Heaven guide my hand ! 

Andreas. Think then ye have 

The sweetest harmony the fates devise 
Twixt mankind and an earthly enterprise, 
The jury which you bid me to beguile 
With visions of a phantom purse, did smile 
And wonder I (who had such fearful might,) 
Should seek to buy, what they through fright 
Would be too apt in charity to give. 
Thereon the foreman spoke, as 'twere to sieve 
The thoughts of all,— thus did he spurt himself— 



2 6 DUCAL HAPS 

' ' We are no friends of Farriet, nor is his pelf 

More to us than the treasures of the moon, 

Being so welt inurn'd it were as soon 

By us acquired: On the other line 

Courtly preferments sibyls shine 

In augury most truthful; Which you choose 

Of these two courses, must the other lose: 

Shall Mammon" s golden messenger now flit — 

Or shall the life of Farriet be quit ?" 

The answer made you did on ent'ring guess; 

But matter appertaining, which doth press 

As close as will allow a leader lead, 

You yet have not surmis'd. If j'ou can feed 

(Without disgorging on a stomach stock'd,) 

Some food I have within my larder lock'd, 

That is most pleasing to your palate; 

As we go farther on I will relate. {Exeunt.) 

{Forward Cedo, with paper in hand.) 

Cedo. 
Thus far— nor more beyond must I be led. 
The day's well on, the hour draws nigh, when this 
The voucher of a fortnight's vigil must; 
Be clear reflected in my master's eye. 
Poor sight ! An eyesore sure to scholar'd minds; 
A schoolboy's essay smoother reads; A howl 
From deck to topmast choicer language has 

******** 

O, for a poet's pen, to this abridge 

And set to music of the ducal strain ! 

As't spells — " Dock's in, — Dock's out, — Dock came, — Dock went:" 

A record plain of facts, which I have bulg'd 

(On strength of lame deducements I had drawn,) 

To such outlandish size, it seems I've drown'd 

An unborn being in a dry millpond ! 

{Enter Duke and attendants. Cedo gathers up papers.) 

Duke. 
I would be now alone. {Exeunt attendants.) 

Stay; Cedo, is 
The task I late commanded you discharg'd ? 

Cedo. 
What little substance legs could track, 
And my poor wit contain, herein you'll find inscrib'd. 
What is embellish'd look you is the truth 
No less for its adornment; There be some 
Could make a foot of news, where I an inch 

Can scarce eke out; notwithstanding I {Enter Page.) 

Have used my best endeavors 'gainst the fault. 



DUCAL HAPS 2 

Duke. How now? {To Page.) 

Page. 
The prisoner's daughter waits, and craves immediate audience. 

Duke. Bid her to home ! 

Cedo. One moment, you. [To Page.) 

My liege (with bended knee 
And inner-soul so pityingly wrought 
In this recall, the force of surface seem 
Howe'er so strongly posed could not o'ermatch,) 
I do enjoin you by the writ you hold, 
(Yet stay the reading.) either to rescind 
Your order on this maid, or here erewhile 
Endure thy page, whilst you may suffer through 't. 

Duke. 
Rise, brother; rather work in bold command 
Than grovel in supplication, when 
The mitigation is derived of us. 
What ! is our friendship held in such repute 
That life's demotic courtesies are stopp'd, 
Unless poor suers ye to us extend, 
The manner of your prayers ! Friend, be you 
Our criered messenger; Impart thy will 
Au' if it run athwart our very life 
We'll not deny ! {Nods to page, who exits.) 

Cedo. 
Then thus I do advise — 
That you allow this maid a hearing, and 
If she should chide, to bear the chiding as, 
You in a joke the victims' grumbling weigh. 

Duke. 
Enough! I will anticipate your charge, 
And will its wants most zealously attend. 
Go you, escort the daughter here, and then 
Put in completion what you have begun, 
For yet in embryo it is, when see 
The jailbirds are unhatch'd. {Exit Cedo.) 

Of all that's crude, 
This is the crudest ! Done; when scarce begun, 
Yet wearing in the germ ! But to my chore, — 
How shall I here confront this maid? What talk 
May she that I with glibness caunot meet? 
Should she my judgment rail or here discourse 
In broad virago mouthings, I could find 
In balking her a childish pleasantry; — 
But should she come in virgin modest}', 
Her tongue within her quest, I then must act 
A fal?e beseeming which in forethought is. 



28 DUCAL HAPS 

{Enter Blanche.) 

Too harsh foi sound reflection. Now she comes. — 
And as the northern frosts make greatest show 
On southern sides, in sunny time I'll shady be. 
{Busies himself with papers, with back to Blanche.) 
Well, — fair intruder, what may I for you? 

Blanche. 
Most gracious lord, — what need have I for words 
To break the object of my visit here? — 
Too well you know the motive or if not 
Turn here thy gaze, and if you see 
No answer for my coming, I will say 
I sue to be denied. 

Duke [aside.) (Ye gods! how sweet ! 
Can human larynx pour such dulcet rhythm 
Into the ear of man uncharm'd? O, no ! 
If she be fashion'd as her tongue gives note, 
I am about face with an angel sure ! 
Be yea or nay the premises, I am 
To turn and face her with severity.) 
Come you (as do the many,) to pervert 
The staid impartial working of our law ? 

Blanche. 

Nay ! Nay ! So well my father did instill 

The spirit of our statute, I could plead, 

No more for him if guilty, than I could 

Deforce you of him were his crime most patent ! 

But as intuitively I do know, — 

(Aye, by all trips that warrant fact,) 

He is in fealty so staunch, his mind 

Did never harbor rebel thought, I'd break 

My wind in urging his behalf! 

Duke. The law 

Was open to recourse, and he the means 
To have the best of legal talent had. 

Blanche. 
O ! Sire, it boots me not to know the wake 
Of haps to me and mine, self-evident, 
Yet not to be averted. Sir, have you 
Not heard of men so loose in morals, they 
Would traffic with their oaths? Oh, I have read 
In Christian works of such! May it not chance 
The like of this is here embodied? Think. — 
How weak the truth, how strong the lie; when 'lis 
A man not well in public favor tried. 






DUCAL HAPS 29 



Duke. 
Silence ! Ill-mannered and ungrateful maid ! 
Has here the court upon probation sat 
With you as judge of judges ? Now beshrew 
Thy mode of playing! When thou secst I lean 
To suit thy hurt, thou actst the pampered child; 
But when thou seest there yet remain a cut 
(Which I in pity must descant,) you swerve 
The weight of argument and prate along, 
As though I ne'er had spok'n. 

Blanche. Oh, you so great ! 

So noble ! Wise ! Discreet ! can ye not tell 
Betwixt a mock and true ? How shall I act 
If not as now? If other ways there be 
That swifter move the tender faculties, 
I know them not; My way a simple child's, 
Who craves a father's life and that but half, 
For he hath scarce the power of a leg. 

Duke. 
Enough ! By highest known tribunal was 
Thy father tried and guilty proven, — more — 
His late accusers are my safest friends 
And men whom I well know. 

Blanche. Well know ! my lord ! 

Know you what 'tis to know a man in full f 
Is it to be his better or in state 
So well intrench'd his fear is of thy love, 
His pleasure of thy sport, his bread, thy bounty? 
Nay ! Nay ! To probe the depth of friendship, you 
Must have a lack of what's his plenty and 
Your need most sore — and out of favor be 
Yea minus all that makes men idolized, 
And rather sets them in the way of scorn; 
He then who takes thy many blows himself, — 
Who damps thy parched lips, — Who stays thy ill 
Or will assauge the pain, though't pain himself; — 
Who spills thy cup of grief e'er it o'erflows 
Though by the spilling he were drown'd in woe; — 
He then befriends and is the man you know; 
All others rank acquaintances and wait 
The trial of a doubt. Have then thy friends 
Their well acknowledged sorting with thyself 
Earn'd by the threading of this thorny path ? 
Oh, sir ! Have they unto thyself shown aught, 
That you should deem their breath infallible? 

Duke. 
Give way ! I have some show of temper, girl, 






30 DUCAL HAPS 

'Twere best you put not iu the contra way ! 

Blanche. 
Why then, to me, did you the court forbid? 
Ah, had you not withheld that privilege, 
By dint of truth I'd make them own the lie, 
Before 'twas uttered, confound their tongues 
And make each tell a sep'rate tale, so free 
And foreign to a smooth connection, they 
Would cravenly denounce their mouths as false ! 
Oh, sire! Be merciful ! A king in title, 
Not in heart; — A fearful giant in might, 
Not in acts;— Oh turn ye not so coldly!— 
Give me sweet heed, — forget the while you are 
A mighty ruler whom the world demands 
Shall be of cold and haughty temp'rament! 
Let nature sway, and respite give to him 
Who most unjustly is condemned to death ! 

Duke. 
{Aside) Oh perfidy ! to plague so pure a soul ! 

Blanche. 
Have you no answer, sire ? — or may I hope 
Thy lack of speech portends a sweet reply ? 

Duke. 
You girl ! Dissemble ! What an ear I have 
To heed your prattle, justice will be done, — 
Begone ! I will reflect your argument. 

Blanche. 
Heaven bless you ! my lord, I'll not forget 
To name you in my prayers. {Exit.) 

Duke. Oh, linger still ! — 

Nay, go sweet maid, and yet I'd have thee stay, 
Though you should chide the while; La ! I would have 
Thee weeks a chiding e're I'd tell thee go, 
Could I but mask my visage which did bend 
A'most to breaking at each searching word, 
That you most righteously gave utterance ! 
Methinks thou hast about this spot diffused 
A holy atmosphere, whose purity 
Pervading all, hath so transported me, 
My spirit soars in ecstacy ! — Oh saint 

Thou wert not wrought for this cold world, — those eyes- 
Were made to view celestial sights, — those ears — 
To harken heav'nly strains, — those dainty feet 
To pace a road this earth doth not afford. 
Sweetheart ye do remind me of a one 
That I (save in a fancy,) ne'er beheld, — 



DUCAL HAPS 31 

An angel mother ! Ah ! who so well knows her 

As he who hath her not, And you do seem 

Her very picture, loving, gentle, kind. 

Thy soul engross'd, thy heart enlisted in 

A pure and holy cause, a saint-like task — 

The saving of a harden'd father's life ! 

A father ! ! What if here a lover were, 

And I — that he ? Ye gods ! a happy thought ! 

Why not act on't ? She is incarnate and 

She may be won ! All hail the theme ! Yet if 

Her fond affections I do now enchain, 

I win her not, for she doth woo a man 

More great than I, yet he excels not me; 

And I, Alack ! must by intrinsic worth be won, 

Yes, yes ! She shall be fairly wooed, and I 

For what I am be won ! {Rings bell.) 

(Enter Page.) 

Send hither he 
Who stands committed, — let none other come 

Till I have pass'd a word with good friend Cedo ! (Exit Page.) 
What may be done, to him will I impart, 
For there be none so mete as he, to share 
The burthen of my newborn thoughts. 
(Enter Cedo.) 
Cedo. " My lord ! 

Duke. 
Come nigher, friend, I have a thing to say 
I would not trumpet to the world; Step close; — 
Be not so formal, it doth wear you ill 
When in our lone companionship. The time 
(With you,) for cringing, bolts, when state affairs 
Are pass'd, and vulgar eyes no longer look 
To such as thee for precedents. Look you, — 
Within this hour and day most strange I'll act, 
Tilings now apparent, yea on the tapis will 
Right suddenly be chang'd; What seems most like 
Is not to be; The snake his skin has shed 
And strangely donn'd another, In short the writ 
You have of late compiled, was by me known, 
E're it w.is penn'd. Looks not this strange, good friend? 
Yet this a much too tame precursor is, 
To signal that's to follow, — but anon, — 
That now I would apprise thee of, is this — 
What in the eye of many odd appears, 
Take you as 'twere no hap unusual, 
And render it a fact anticipated; 
Let naught nonplus, nor let your mien change , 
Though I dp set thee proxy to myself 
And fare thee well forever ! 






32 DUCAL HAPS 

Cedo. Good, my lord, 

You do command but little, yet you do 
Assign by far beyond my worth ! 

Duke. Trust me, 

I stake no more in chance than fact has prov'd; 
So is the measure if I choose you stead me, 
It shall be your best pleasure to comply. 

Cedo. 
Be you assur'd I'll strive. 

Duke. Nay that's the doing !— 

Haste' you and prod the jailer here. 

Cedo. My lord, 

He is without, and comes this way along 
With Farriet in chains, and mobb'd about 
With courtiers; Mongst the morbid crowd 
I do espy Andreas to Barto link'd, 
Right closely followed by the foreman juror. 

Duke {aside). (Ah ! 'tis truly said — " They're bonds as strong 
Twixt lowborn knaves, as purest virtue boasts." 
(Enter Barto, Andreas, Farriet — Courtiers, etc.) 
Now will I take of devil's text a lease, 
Wherewith I may a goodly saw express,) 
Stand here the pris'ner ! What ! Is this the he 
Who at defiance sets our law, who reeks 
A breath defensive whiles he gives 
His purse and pen unto the vile offenders ? 
Had I no proof 'bove sight I'd say, — he hath 
No sign of danger on him. 

Farriet. Spare, my lord ! 

This with'ring vim ! My scope of life were short 
E're this sad hap befell, but since, God wot, 
It hath no length, for thou dost kill it by 
Harsh words in kindly setting. 

ist Courtier. What a taste 

His honor hath for tender usage ! Why — 
He shies his bolt as he were judge, 
And we a band of sinners for his clemency ! 

Farriet. 
Oh Heav'nly Host ! Will this my suff 'ranee be ! 
To be the butt for jester's gall ? 

2d Courtier. 
Why old Centrifugal ! How you do fly 
From off your center ! Look you now, he'll have 
Us felloes to a lightning-hub 
And wheel us quickly on to Beelzebub ! 



DUCAL HAPS 

Farriet. 
Avaunt ! Ye double damii'd scourgers ! Damn'd ! 
For holding of a caste unearn'd ! Damn'd ! 
Misusing thus ! Go spend thy flippancy 
Upon thy aged parents whom I take 
Are more deserving ! 

Duke {aside). Grave unerring conscience, 

True umpire of the soul, give me in sin 
A feint, that I distemper may affect 
And meanly use, what most I do revere ! 

Farriet. 
If it be fair in question, give me, sire, 
Solution of my new arraignment here; 
Will not thy pass at justice be appeas'd, 
'Till that each vulgar minded courtier has, 
With bitter taunting irony assail'd 
The pris'ner's sense ? 

Duke. Out of custom this, 

So is thy crime, hence is this license bred; 
Which to subdue, thyself art hither brought. 
Deliver me opinions of thyself 
That have not this prescription, then 'twill cease. 

Farriet. • 

I am no fond declaimer, I, — My art, 
No art, concealing manlike attributes, 
Enlarging viciousness, — my error is 
In rigid truth, which at its best deludes. 
For what I should pronounce, I can but say, — 
Ev'ry man hath his way, and mine, my lord, 
Hath color none, save that I shift not with 
The common klan, nor do I strive to see 
With all men's eyes, and therefore am I scorn'd, 
Aye scoff 'd and jeered, when lau led I should be ! 
Child ! Boy ! Thy father's call to arms 
Did ever find a ready soldier here ! 
Not one bell toned that made his deeds his boast ! 
But of the few who staid their leader by 
And when the cause was lost, — thy father dead, — 
This fair land by the vile usurper ruled, — 
His ideal being would no longer give 
Assurance to the ducal pow'r, but grew 
Into the woe engend'ring life I lead ! 
Good sir ! My speech I hope doth not entreat ! 
If so, 'tis much against my will; Albeit 
My life is forfeit; You have but to name 
The moment of my send-off and 'tis done ! 



33 



34 DUCAL HAPS 

Duke. 
With thee, thy daughter then, hath found no thought? 

Farriet. 
Why lift me from the willing throes of hell, 
To blast me with a heavenly flash and sour 
My resignation ! Hath my woe no mete? 
Oh, sire ! If you do ever seek to wear 
An age as great as mine, let but thy mind 
Conceive its woes compounded in a one, 
And this at once upon thee thrown, when thou 
Against art least insured, then thou wilt feel 
A pang less keen than now writhes me. My soul ! 
Have thought on her? Ye Gods, dumb strike me if 
I unalloyed a thought beget that she 
Claims not ! Aye all is hers ! So kind ! so pure ! 
Inapt at sinfulness, such moral pride, — 
So much a girl, — so near a goddess, — she — 
A child immortal God-like paradigm — 
Not of this world in that she passeth sin. 
My lord — say you no more, — do that you should, 
Not make me to myself subordinate. 
If needs thou makest pastime of mine ill 
Do crack thy bubble from another sud. 

Duke. 
Thou art indeed well favored in thy child; — 
And pity 'tis, some loyal spark of her 
Were not infus'd in thy rebellious ways ! 
Right royally she sued disloyally, 
And hath prevailed, insomuch thou art free 
To go thy ways 'till that the court shall find 
An evidence more tenable; — Meanwhile 
Within thy house (in state's behalf,) I'll lodge 
Some trusty servant who shall access have 
To thee and thy belongings; Further thou 
Shall certify a bond in all thy worth: 
Wilt thou then think upon the proposition? 

Farriet. 

My lord, I hurnbly thank thee and accept. 

Duke. 
Release the prisoner ! Give him redress, 
See you he hath a safe conveyance home. 
Have yet our messengers of war return'd? 

{Exit Farriet, Guards, etc.) 

Page. 
My lord, they are at hand awaiting ca 1, 



ducal haps 35 

Duke. 

Tell us how our advances were received, 
Do they embrace a peace? 

ist MESSENGER. My lord, we scoured 

From line to line the country round, and saw 
No head, to whom we might impart our charge, 
That we discovered new is of such form, 
'Twere lost in the expressing, implied, it tells 
Most treasonous. Our simplest questions met 
Equivocating answers; none who knew 
Would help us as we'd speed, and so we come 
To have fresh order. 

Duke. Aye, and speedily ! 

Methinks there shall a war be toward that 
Will make the bravest of them quail ! 'Tis strange 
What pow'r's in this Lelieviere that he 
At flashing notice can an army raise, 
To steep us in abeyance ! Back, you ! 
Who lately failed your mark ! And if you bring 
A second answer that will tell as this, 
Know then thou wert as good as dead ! Begone ! 
Mouth our intent as you do know it; — Fetch 
Some show of answer or thy head shall pay 
The forfeit of thy lack ! Thriving province ours, 

(Exit Messenger.) 
Environed on our lauded outskirts with 
Harrassing bandits; On our sea girt ply 
Unnumbered smugglers who now drug our mart 
With slavish foreign wares, while native skill 
Doth beg a living patronage; This must, 
Aye, shall no longer be ! If leniency 
Receives a cold 'reception, we shall try 
A cruel warlike plan. As I did wrest 
This land from those who wrong'd my father, so 
Will I, (if needs;) as sanguinary, part for part, 
Maintain it to our usages ! And now — 
Wise councilors and else, I do resign 
Mine office for a time, and relegate 
All pomp appurtenant and duty to 
Our trusty servant, Cedo, he it is 
Will rule, advise you, (pending our return.) 
Henceforth his word is law ! Know all, by noon 
I must be found, nonest, a traveler 
Outside my realm; In search of health that man, 
The passer-by may say, and you who know 
May then (as 'twere upon authority) 
Affirm his lonely plodding, as a scent 
Upon a track of health, or better you 



36 DUCAL HAPS 

May say — he is a man whom duty found 
Off duty; like unto the archer who 
Did ever fail his mark till that he aimed 
Directly contrawise. 

Barto. Is't well, my lord, 

In such grave time, with treason, rampant and 
Grim war at hand, thy office shall be left 
With head and font, a novice, whose support 
Thou dost so meagrely define? 

Duke. Why friend, 

Hath he not here good councilors? In case 
Of haps emergent, hath he not you and these? 
Good-honest fellows all, upright and leal; 
Whose only thought, apparent, is our law 
Upheld most rigidly. Wherefore do you 
In morals so divinely hedg'd, secure 
In money'd wealth and friends, seek to forestall 
Such dire improbabilities? 

Andreas {aside to Barto). Beware ! 

He strokes thee down too fondly; I do think 
He means to rub thy fur the contra way ! 

Duke. 
Friend, Andreas, — Thou no lesser christian light, 
Than he thy consort, see thou bear'st him out 
And with the rest a unit for our weal. 



ACT III. 
Scene i. Apartment in Farriet's house. 
{Enter Blanche meditating.) 

Blanche 
Thus have I been lighthearted ever, yet 
The pleasing buoyancy of careless joy, 
Of innocence so redolent, hath not 
The smack exquisite, nor the bitter sweet, 
That here confronts and arbitrarily 
Enlists me in this newborn bliss; How short 
The days that realize this joy, how brief 
The nights these beauteous visions paint; — Ah me ! 
All nature hath digress'd, and now presents 
Her ripe and most engaging side. Methinks 
My plants, of late, a sweeter odor have; 
The air more bracing seems; The jibes and knocks 
To me, and mortals all attendant, now 
Grate not so harshly on mine ear; Yet with 
Mine ecstacy comes there a fault along, 
That savors much of harlotry; So deep 
An easy conscience doth accuse me, I 
Do redden at the thought, yet will I on 



DUCAL HAPS 37 



And gloze a present sin, a past to cloak. 

Ah, yes ! a harlot I, as great as she 

Who vends her graces on the public mart ! 

Did I not give the Duke (unsought,) my love? 

His image keep in sacred enshrinement? 

And foster, (hoydenlike,) a craving love, 

To foist it on the next available? 

The love, I fain would have, and that 

I presently may own, cojointly hold 

In even strain, not bating former love, 

To help a love existent? Shame ! Oh, shame ! 

Most cruel shame, that crimsons so my cheek? — 

Proclaims I may not entertain two loves, 

Yet will not help me to renounce the one, 

Nor with the other cloy me. Blest am I, 

In that I do reciprocate a love; 

Accurst am I, for it my prayers will not 

(In purity sincere,) be voic'd to heav'n. 

A hypocrite they vote me, since I seem 

In wickedness to thrive most happily; — 

So continuing, solace will I take 

From warpt philosophy adapted to 

My special want; as in extraction of a thorn, 

Attending pain gives zest to subsequent relief, 

I will so lose myself, as oft to think 

With sharpest thorns I'm deeply prick'd; whereas 

My woes's all joy, yea, all that is, is joy, 

And I, most joyful fond exponent of this joy, 

Thrive wickedly to further consummate. 

Oh why, hath Heaven made me so illforrn'd, 

That I for wrong will hunger, and have not 

(Seek how I will,) a virtue's countercheck ! 

{Enter Adelaide {hastily) . 

Adelaide. 
Oh, Blanche ! Your ear a tale I have to tell, 
Which, if I longer keep, will kill ! 
So mark, — The worthy Cedo hath to-day 
Made manifest for me, a love, which I 
Too long have sweetly guess'd, but now 'tis set, 
And look you, — hence ne'er meet me, but expect 
The dread affliction of society, — 
Accepted lover! Let this ever be, 
When that I lack of speech or speak too great, 
Or seem distraught or tender no reply, 
Excusing adequate to clear my name, 
Which ever shall be friend for thee. But list, 
I'm furnish'd with some other news, at once 
Both comical and sad; Sad it is, 
In that 'tis coupled with thy pretty self, 



3§ DUCAL HAPS 

Most laughable it is, to thus presume. 
My ! how my sides with laughter ached when 
Lord Andreas did his tale recite, of how 
His eye at diff 'rent times had seen Delmot 
With thee too closely in communion knit; 
And furthermore, a heed (said he,) thou giv'st 
Unto this fiat Delmot, which none may get 
Howe'er so well deported; This and more 
Did he present to make thy father know, 
What he already knew, that thou wert pair'd 
With poor Delmot; Oh, I could scarce restrain 
My eager tongue, nor think how best direct ! 
Ah, well, in thy defense 'twas warmly us'd, 
Of that rest well assur'd; Oh I did show 
The inconsistence of his yarn, the lack 
Betwixt you pair of close affinity. 
Then most indignantly did I compare 
Shortcomings of thy swain ! — 

Blanche. Soft, Adelaide !— 

Adelaide. 
Hath he, (said I,) a virtue fit to mate 
With thy most faulty act? 

Blanche. Oh, Adelaide ! 

Adelaide 

Nay rate Delmot in form or tone or wealth, 
Combined threble value in excess 
An hundred fold, still would he have 
Not grace enough to be thy lackey ! 

Blanche. Hold ! 

I cry you mercy, friend ! Counts it a sin 
Adonis' mirror's not Delmont's physique? 
Loves man his mother less when nature hath 
Been sparing with her niceties? Or when 
The lapse of years her kindly face doth set 
In honorable wrinkles ? Come tell me, — 
Is poverty enforc'd iniquitous? — 
Hold'st thou a friendship in such tenure as 
To vacillate as will its owner's wealth ? 
No, dearest friend, thou wilt not smirch my love; 
Thou dost but tease me; even now design, 
To rouse the ire of love, whereby thou mayest 
Perceive a sweet reflection of thy mind, 
Which being freshly burden'd of its love, 
Hath pressing incitation to observe 
The literal enactment. 

Adelaide. Must I then 

Believe mine eyes that followed thee so well 



DUCAL HAPS 39 

Askance have look'd ! Discerning lost ! That thou 

From aspirations of a ducal love 

Thy love so low could prostitute ? Ah ! thou 

Hast grievously deceiv'd; which in return 

To swell our mutual endearments, I 

Applaud as thou wilt love, — When 'tis a Duke 

I'll say 'tis well, being be}^ond thy reach, — 

When base or lowly born, — why better then, 

Since thou woulds't not abase thyself, and best 

When such another as may love, (a man 

Of a!l that man's a man, component), thou 

May'st (in delusive vagaries of luck) 

Chance on a next to him in cleverness. 

Blanche. 
Be not so cruel, Ada, he I love 
Hath all that Heav'n may bless a mortal with ! 
I would none other, give me joy of him; — 
Not seek by peurile scorn, the hope to pall, 
That all my amatory tenderings, 
Shall meet in him a love responsive. Bah ! 
He did but smile, and I that smile construed 
Into a love design, and when he spoke, 
Refined modulations of his speech, 
So wrought upon my feelings, I did take 
The commonplace accosting due our sex, 
To be as Cupid's challenge; So have I 
Resolved a love reciprocal of naught. 
Begott'n from sweet conceits a fruitful fact, 
No ! No ! Ada ! Thus doth it stand,— Delmot 
Hath not address'd me other thin as one 
Might speak unto a sister, it was I 
Who uuabash'd oft forc'd my blushings and 
All else betok'ng love. Have pity then 
For one that hath a clean divided heart, 
A false and true that alternate as days 
And men will pass. 

Adelaide. Indeed, dear Blanche, thou art 

Too scathing of thyself! For I do know 
Thou art too modest, shy and diffident, 
For common good; Thou woulds't not woo unwooed; 
The Duke with kindness woo'd, perchance an eye 
Of yearning bent on thee, which thou (so new,) 
Receiv'd at par; This should you not; for men 
Will smile and smirk and nod and wink, and you 
A passive doll accepting, will evolve 
A leal off'ring from a false intent. 
Now, by the moral sway of Cupid, I 
Some dozens have encounter'd such as this, 



40 DUCAL HAPS 

And found it passing sport ! To some, a smile, 

A willful frown to others, then a look 

Most tearful or caressing, as the yauge 

Of him opposing did prefer; — yet here, 

A Christian, heartwhole, with a virgin love, 

Gives greeting unto Cedo ! — Come with me, 

I have a school of lessons few, 

Wherein is taught what you should do; 

And profit you or profit not, 

The issue is a happy lot. {Exeunt.) 

{Enter Andreas, Barto and Cedo.) 

Andreas. 
To war were better than dishonor'd peace ! 
To paint white black, is well, but then to build 
A lofty structure on that base, — my lords 
Let me be honest ! 

Cedo. So acts of the wise 

The veriest fool may aptly criticize, 
Till puff'd up with opinionated points, 
His hearers by contagion are inlected, 
Imbibing erudition of the fool, 
Which subsequent reflection proves a nill, 
Let us then be chary and eschew 
The vision (universal,) which doth set 
Each sev'ral living man (whate'er his lot,) 
To be the leader of a little world, 
Whose canton scope is as his senses may 
Find opportunity and fancied wit 
To cope withal: Remember all may mar 
But few can make; Respect originals; 
Be not a wind iconoclast; Bark not 
The tree that gives thee shade; Best you would shirk 
The self-imposed duties of your tongues; 
Transpose alleged wisdom into truth; 
And loudly praise his eccentricity. 
Ah, Sirs: to found a clever critic, takes 
Small quantity of wit; A trade for which 
Most men assume a special aptitude. 

Andreas. 
Come, Cedo, now you do enlarge upon 
Our little speech; We did comment and times 
Do countenance the act; Certain it is 
The Duke (by odd manipulation,) has 
Invited comments Pro and Con, the which 
We have most charitably entertain'd. 
In that he has some score of smugglers seiz*d 
And that Jean Lelieviere is routed, we 



DUCAL HAPS 41 

Do give him praise, but when, (alack the day!) 

He stoops the ducal dignity to lose, 

By persecution of a noble man, 

(As Monsieur Farriet is proven,) and 

To further aggravate the case, he hath 

Within his household plac'd (the like, 

In ill-proportion, nature ne'er excell'd.) 

An impress half twixt man and ape, who treads 

The smallest hours of the twenty-four, 

In spy-like patrol of the sweetest girl 

That e'er wore smock ! 

Cedo. This, then it is 

Affords thee umbrage at the ducal will? 
Do I (in off'ring joy) anticipate 
May I (without premising,) gratulate ? 
Nay, stutter not, nor ape a virgin coyness, 
She that you love is e'en most lovable; — 
Quite proper in all maiden attributes; — 
Therefore be bold to claim — 

Andreas. And so would I, 

Bat that my better to that height aspires, 
And though he speak it not, most meanly do 
These ducal eccentricities engage 
And foul his holiest intendment ! 

Cedo. 
Yes, friends, while all deplore, none may coerce 
The line of Delmot's actions here; But as 
His entertainment lacks instruction, ye 
May fit a key-blank to an easy lock 
And use him henceforth as thy wants suggest. 
In then ! Remember well, as " Man's success 
Lies in the force of his endeavors,'' ye 
With axes dull, the stone ! Thy selves avail 

Of these inviting opportunities! {Exit.) 

(BarTo menacing after Cedo.) 

Barto. 
Accurst be he and all that follow in 
The ducal wake ! My influence methought 
Was all sufficient to effectuate 
The prompt deposing of this Delmot and 
Instating of thy self ! Yet now it seems 
'Tis something short of naught ! Didst note Cedo 
With all his loud exclaiming nothing said? 
' ' His entertainment lacks instruction!" So the moon 
Forsooth ! may lack direction since 'tis prone 
To many changes; yet no mortal can 
Avail him aught by striving to control; 
So with Delmot, in his appointment here 



42 



DUCAL HAPS 



Omnipotent, sits even as the Duke 

And may not then as easily be led. 
Andreas. 

Since then, we know our vantage elsewhere lies, 

Let us within and new suggestings seek, 

Wherewith to found a new procedure; Come — 

Upon our laggard heels misfortunes tag, 

Dire menaces until our game we bag ! 

Scene 2.— Grounds about FarneVs house. 

{Enter Duke, in disguise; Blanche discovered laughing and chat- 
tering in the distance with her maid.) 
Duke. 

Where link'd with beauty bodes a finer mind ? 

Where group'd in nature's masterpiece more grace 

From Heav'n mirror'd? Angel! Woman! First 

My pulse to move this happy measure, first 

My wicked self to recreate ! And now 

(Since thou the gauntlet of a cruel test 

Too well have sped,) will I withdraw and woo 

As more befits thy desert to be woo'd. s 

Ah ! how the rasping words in latitude 

Of common speech, in glowing colors paint 

Her lily cheeks ! Much like the lash of guilt 

Upon the spotless back of innocence. 

A virgin fit the greatest king to mate 

With beauty, wit and all else integrate. 

{Duke assumes a pensive attitude.) 

{Exit maid; forward Blanche.) 

Blanche. 
Art ill, my friend, that dull dejection takes 
A hold so gruesome ? 

Duke. HI? Aye, ill indeed 

As he who hath disease incurable. 
What fleshly pain as keen, incisive, as 
Hypocrisy of thought? To clash the mind 
(Whose umpirage religiously directs,) 
With thought on thought most sensual, incite 
The passive body to a mean imposture? 

Blanche. 
Sir, rather do I think thy searching sense 
Doth magnify some mite and merge it in 
A woeful sin. 

Duke. Come, charming censor, tell 

How thou cans' t so diverge in judgment from 
Thy father, mentor, friends and those who deign 
My execrable moves to arbitrate? 



DUCAL HAPS 43 

Blanche. 
My father's hate, (albeit much misprised,) 
Hath great occasion; Then as moon to sun 
Will fawning friends their borrow'd lustre lend 
In lesser hates on thee, — 

Duke {attempting a caress.) And you, fair one, 
Wilt thou not here resolve me? Render true 
Thy wonted estimate ? 

Blanche. This can I not, — 

Or may not if I could, — Beseech you ! 
Let me indoors ! I've naught to say, — Kind sir ! 
I pray you — hold me not — my tongue is lost ! 
No speech have I that boots thee to attend ! 

Duke. 
Sweet ! Glint thine eyes but so, and sweeter speech 
Can human lips not frame, nor can be found 
A list'ner more intense than he who heeds ! 
Fair siren, may I be so bold, so vain, 
Sweet, to impart here have we each for each 
A treasure infinite, enriching both. 
Be thou the magnet to my steel, and gain 
By giving of thy power; Wilt thou be 
As high exalted as adoring man 
May couch a worthy woman? Wilt thou wive 
A man inferior, yet of a heart 
Immaculate, that throbs for none but thee ? 

Blanche. 
I know not how to answer since I think 
Much more than thou dost crave thou dost bestow; 
Yet if thou wilt and thinkst not to repent, — 

Duke. 
So will I never do, — or doing die ! ( They retire. ) 

{Enter Cedo and Adelaide.) 

Adelaide. 
'Twere folly thus to woo, — have ye no saws 
To send a wooing of a cuter text ? 
Thou lov'st me truly, aye, 'tis stale and raw ! 
Thou wouldst and couldst most valiantly, but don't; 
Ah ! If I were a man prerogativ'd 
No maid who so invitingly presents, 
Would have her wants unsated ! I would have 
A clasping arm, a shelt'ring breast, a lip 
Continuously kissing; see beyond 

[Looking at Duke in distance) 
Where goes the humblest, yet withal most wise, 
Who will inhale his bud when scarce 'tis plucked. 



44 DUCAL HAPS 

Doth not his arm encompass her ? Why, sure ! 
Else hath he been dismember'd? Quick ! Retire ! 
Lest we be hued with shame; for by his way 
I think be means to kiss. My ! Sour grapes 
Did ever make me qualmish ! 

Cedo. Wouldst thou have 

A hugging bear, a kissing dove ? Then so — 
And so, — {kissing) with animal endearments I 
Herewith begin a never-ending role ! 

Adelaide. 
Ah, poor in quality is the response 
Of love too long solicited ! It hath 
The m,rit of originality. 
For never did I hear of love that lack'd 
The fiery germ of spontaneity ! 

Cedo. 
If depth of love by blandishments is shown, 
Henceforth a love most obvious thou'lt own. 
Spasmodic and paroxysmal I'll be, 
Loose-jointed ever with a pray'rful knee. 
No scowling frowns, no venom'd stares, all smiles; 
The very prince himself of cupid's wiles. 
With sighs at times, then tears, and all between 
Diffusing love's quintessence beauteous queen. {Exeunt.) 

{Forward Blanche and Duke.) 

Duke. 

It is my lack doth so embolden me, 
Were I more richly favor'd, of a form 
Less hideous, thus much would I not urge. 

Blanche. 
Why should I linger on't when you would know? 
'Twas then, — The Duke, I lov'd ! Why laugh you not? 

Duke. 

This moves me not to mirth; All subjects should 
Show loyal love. 

Blanche. In sooth they should, yet mine; — 

Kind sir, — shame me no further to confess ! 

Duke. 
Sweet ! 'Tis the keen delight of love, to hear 
These fond confessings; Tell me of this love, — 
Was't like to mine? 

Blanche. E'en so, a tender bud, 

A struggling undeveloped flower, though 
The rip'ning would I fear, had you not stay'd 



DUCAL HAPS 45 

The random growth and grafted sweeter fruit. 

Duke. 
'Tis well to be a second if the first 
Be dead, and third doth follow not in train. 
Yet of this duke, thy love (if that he would,) 
I like him not, and much annoyed am I 
To know he has bestirred thy virgin heart. 

Blanche. 
How like the duke thou seem'st when speaking thus ! 
In feature, voice, expression, so in kind 
I cannot well distinguish ! Aye in truth 
Had nature used thee kindly, I could swear 
Thou wert his very image ! 

Duke. What ! A duke 

Of pigmy stature, and a camel's back? 
Of microscopic brain? Of dwarfish wit? 
Astute discerner ! Well dost thou collate 
When say'st thou he doth me resemble ! 

Blanche. 
I would not have thee so detract; Be true, 
My love in all, nor abnegate a grace 
By both in common held, lest I be bowed 
By shamed humility; For as the duke 
Did, as the lightning's corruscating stroke 
Flash heav'nly fire into my sleeping heart, 
Awaken fond desires, delicious thoughts, 
Entrancing dreams and pleasing discontents, 
And as thou art in body, mind and all 
His other self, his true continuer, 
I needs must loyal be, whiles you no more 
He, (which art thyself,) will derogate. 

Duke. 

Why truly, thou art of the gentler sex 

A gem, a true exponent, to outface 

Avow'd dissembling with such sweet debate. 

Now come your ways, too long have you annoy'd. 

Sweet work have I to keep those lips employed. 

{Attempts kiss.) 

Blanche. 
Aye, wilt thou so, without some sharp rebuke ! 
Forbear ! Nor dare parade me by the duke ! (Exeunt.) 

(Forward Cedo and Adelaide.) 

Adelaide. 
Whoever saw a clucking hen to pick 
Till that she scratched? Or farmer seek to reap 
E're he had sown ? Anticipation's guile 



46 DUCAL HAPS 

Averts reality, Thou wouldst affect 

The capers of a novice on the lute 

I do remember of, who would essay 

Profoundest musical effusions known, 

E're she the scale had mastered. Breathes the child 

Who will the dinner courses gorge, 

When close a savory dessert awaits? 

You, but a child, in love, must so be chid'n; 

Know then, to wear me tritely, woo you must ! 

And that without incessant urging, too ! 

Cedo. 
What if I brazenly will arrogate 
Fine qualities that ill befit : Cause you 
To think I am not; I Thrive in deceit; 
Assail thee with a tongue eclectic, true 
In seeming only; Or with boasts alike — 

A man I know, who when the snow 

Lay thickly as a shield; 

'Tween suns I vow, criss cross could plough 

A full ten-acre field. 

But when the blast of winter past, 

And summer heat the while, 

As sure as fate this man could skate 

A minute to a mile. 

On desert dry, no water nigh, 

I'll truly say of him, 

Be mortal glad, if that he had 

An hundred miles to swim. 

But when on ship, his truthful lip 

'Twere pity to observe; 

Miles he could do, as seconds flew, 

Ah, me ! He had a nerve ! 
Nay, suffer me to court thee honestly, 
That when conjugal love enjoying, we 
May yet have crowning virtues to reveal. 

Ada. 
Then be it so, yet, let it not appear 
My love is held too cheaply ! Be alive 
To feelingly enact thy prompting thoughts 
And let me queen it o'er my fond domain ! 

Cedo. 
Yea, on my neck, thy foot, a fond caress; 

So thou anon infracting love no less. {Exeunt.) 

{Enter BarTO and Andreas.) 

Andreas. 
This is the very substance of the scheme, — 
Thou hast in swordsmanship no equal, save 



DUCAL HAPS 47 

One lone exception, he, the duke; and as 
This Delmot sports a warlike thigh, thou may'sl 
Find quick occasion to engage the skill 
His dangling sword implies; Without a fear 
But he'll be stuck as well as other hogs. 

Barto. 

This sorts not well and ruins me in caste, 
To cross a knightly sword with such as he. 

Andreas. 

Nay, cross it not ! But lunge at him with point 
Of deadly venom ! Make a deal — defense — 
As 'twere a quarrel forc'd — invited not ! 
Trust me to fend the honor of your steel, 
By goading him till that his acts overt, 
Thy pass will justify. 

Barto. Much cause have I 

To wish him dead, yet murder suits me not ! 
Andreas. 

Come, scan thee not thy mind so daintily, 

Nor coin so harsh a word He hath unlocked 

The closest secrets of thy bosom, holds 

The safest fort in action; charms a love 

That else were yours, he being vanquished. 

Say, shall he live? Live yet to tell the Duke 

Thy fond confidings; by the which the bribes 

Thou gavs't to him, will serve as vouchers for 

A gauzy probity;— {Enter Farriei.) 

Barto. No more, he dies! 

I'll down all conscience 'tween me and the act ! 

And re vs. 
Sh — ! Farriet ! Now closely by repair, 
And hearken to his railing — here 'tis good. 

( They retire to side hidden by trees.) 

Farriet. 
What, solitude ! Shall I luxuriate 
In peusiveness and for the nonce have time 
To bless me with an intervening? 'Tis 
Most singular what hap hath now befall'n, 
And clouds me much to question; Lo ! 'tis gone ! 
The miracle quick wrought, illusion is! 
For here my nemesis, mine evil star. 
Impatient eagnerness personifies, 
And strives to bask him in my seldom smile, 
Which never yet were his. (Enter Duke.) 



48 DUCAI, HAPS 

Duke. Good morning, sir ! 

Farriet. 
'Twere knavish mockery to thus accost 
With gentle salutation of the day, 
When yet thine eye in watch perpetual 
Hath disallow'd the warrant of salute ! 

Duke. 
It grieves me much, the service of my hire 
Doth visit you unkindly; I would be 
Well savoured to your liking, at this time, 
If never so before, since now I come 
In marriage way, to ask of thee thy child. 

Farriet. 
Why, 'tis an ass that speaks ! Alike the child 
That hunger'd for the moon ! Hence you to her ! 
Amazement so confounds me, in reply 
I needs must be abusive ! Go, to her ! 
There will you get denial, sweet, refin'd 
In cloaked repugnance; There refusal take 
In sugar'd cadence; Pity if you will 
For she is of such gentle disposition, 

Grossest word of hers excels my best {Enter Blanche.) 

In pleasuring the ear ! Stay you ! She comes ! 
{Aside) Why, here is not a child, but woman grown, 
That rather may be led than driven ! 

Blanche. Sire, — 

Why dost thou look so grave, and stare me so? 
Thou wilt not think I have outgrown thy love? 

(Farriet caressing Blanche.) 

Farriet. 
My child ! So even now, a very babe 
That cooing in my rocking arms, was wont 
To while relaxing hours; as like to Eve 
And Adam, in our paradise; no sin, 
No thought iniquitous. When, lo, appears 
A wily serpent, sharp, seductive, which 
(But little diff'ring from the Devil skinn'd,) 
Comes in the form of man, prepared to tempt 
The tenure of our holding. Will you draw 
A present parallel, or seeming dense 
Compel me query, by the which I add 
Abasement to thy high estate; Demean 
The loftiest findings of my soul? 

Blanche. Oh Sire- 

Be well persuaded I am thine for ave, 
And further be convinced, thy teachings have 



DUCAL HAPS 49 

Been carefully attended. How may I speak, 
When by thy mien 'tis quite evident 
To anger thou'rt inclined? Sire, change thy look, 
And bid me pleasantly proceed, lest I, 
Misjudging, think thou dost divine my speech 
And predispose to choler ! 

Farriet. How I look 

Need prejudice to no perversion; Say 

(With candor) what you may, but tell me not 

In shadow of thy love yon suitor comes ! 

BLANCHE. 

Good sire ! Say rather I the shadow am 
To his eclipsing light ! 

Duke. Sire, give me leave, — 

Farriet. 
Of absence, aye, or leave to quit thy life ! — 
Which doubly valued, poor requital were 
To compass this foul wroug ! 'Tis monstrous, child ! 
Rank heresy to nature for a lamb 
To mate the dread hyena, or the dove 
To pair the buzzard; Beasts of little wit 
Thus much innately know; And will my child 
With less than brute discretion, act a part? 
What, Daughter ! Wilt thou balk at heaven, when, 
With such a gracious hand, she hath bestrewn 
Thy pathway? Thou, divinely blest, wilt mock 
High heaven by debasing of these gifts? 
Nay, — Teaser mine, — Tell me forthwith remains 
The tether of paternal love intact; 
That yet the overawing power of 
A good example be not so impinged, 
That here is warrant of futility ! 
Why, I do tire of my clanging tongue 
That ceaselessly reiterates; — Yet I 
In thy behavior, scent some faulty hints 
That wearily persuade. Come, face about, 
With haughty chilliness, thy back to that, 
Wiles cheerfully thine eyes my fears dispel. 

BLANCHE. 

Oh, Father, kill me not with such reproof! 
Thou chid'st as I were heinously at fault, 
When I had thought mine act thyself would please. 
From infancy hast thou precepts set forth, 
Which (duteously observing.) shaped my course 
To order this selection. — Hast not thou 



50 DUCAL HAPS 

Repeatedly maintained, " That man is great 
When greatness he begets; — That to be good 
Were better far than great; — and humbleness 
The sponsor of their truth ? Alas, when I 
With Delinot's love myself enriched, methought 
My joying heart (with love new generate 
For thee and thy endorsement of my choice,) 
Exultingly would burst its strained bounds 
And send me to elysium ! — Yet now 
In chaos I abide, not knowing how 
My filial devotion to thj' will 
Hath so egregiously offended. 
(Farriet draws sword.) 

(Farriet to Blanche.) Hence ! 
Lest in my proper wrath I strike thee down ! — 
As (heaven pand'ring to my strength and skill) 
I now intend to smite this cringing wretch ! 

Duke. 

Good Sire ! Be rational ! I'll not entreat 
In aught but honorable vein: which course 
(If you but lend me hearing) I will show 
Will meet thy best approval ! 

Farriet. Hold thy breath ! — 

Thou home despoiler ! Look ! Defend thyself ! 

Blanche. 

Father ! Father ! Do restrain thyself! 

(Farriet closes in on the Duke who is compelled to draw.) 

Duke. 

Sire ! Sire ! Esteem me not so poor a knight 
As make me give thee battle ! Let me go 
Until thy present anger be subdued 
By other than such violence ! 

Farriet. What, Cur ! 

Dost flout me with mine age? Take that ! — 

A miss ! — Here then ! — 

{Duke knocks sword out of Farriet's hand— Blanche picks 
tip sword and moves to side — Enter Barto with drawn sword 
followed by Andreas.) 

Barto. For shame, thou crafty coward ! 

To thus decrepit age assail ! Come pit 
Thy knavish weapon 'gainst a lusty blade ! 



DUCAL HAPS 51 



Duke. 



Aye, that will I, and willingly ! Be spry ! 
For I do strike to kill, not maim ! — And now — 
Oh thou dost tremble, charlatan ! — Methinks 
Thy tongue hath stancher courage than thine arm — 
Upon thy wav'ring sword arm take you this ! — 

(Andreas draws and confronts the Duke.) 
And this upon the nether ! 

(Duke wounds Barto who falls.) 
Now for you ! — 

Andreas. 
Thou miserable dwarf ! Some carving take 
Of thine own choosing ! 

Blanche rushes with uplifted sword endeavoring to shield the 
Duke, who wounds Andreas, then hastily departs. 

Ah, a vicious cut ! 
Alarm the household ! See, the wretch escapes ! 

{Enter servants, etc.) 
Look to Lord Barto; mine is but a scratch ! 

Barto. 
Nay, mind me not. After Delmot ! A purse 
Of gold ducats he who apprehends 
The would-be-murderer! 

Farriet. 
Look to the gates ! 

Have all safe, barred and our adjacent ground 
Have well explored ! Come, friends, be led within. 
Thy wounds a surgeon's skill should quickly have 
Lest serious they prove. 

{Exeunt Barto, Andreas and attendants.) 

Blanche. Oh, leave me not 

In such austerity ! Turn, father, please, 
Compel me not to beg my honest due, 
For, as I hope to live, naught have I done 
That forfeits me thy love ! 

Farriet. Thou plead'st in vain ! 

Think'st thou affection is dispensed in lots 
Like garden truck ? That heart and pulse at will 
To suit a passion's whim, are made to beat ? 
Avaunt ! Thou hast renounced parental love, 
Aye, issue taken 'gainst thy flesh and blood ! 
As thou hast built, go thou and house ! Away 
Resume thy consort with that murd'rous knave, 
That fugitive, who will ere dawn be jailed; 
Hie to him swiftly never to return ! 

(Blanche sinks in despair. Curtain. ) 



52 DUCAL HAPS 



ACT IV. 

Scene i. Corridor in Farriet's home.) 
{Enter Blanche and Adelaide.) 

Blanche. 

This must you do, and speedily, or I 

Will say thou dost procrastinate and seek 

By subterfuge and many petty means, 

To eke the time so tediously, my plan 

Shall fail a consummation; Never think it 

Better to believe the pretty names 

(Of pure effeninateness typical,) 

It was thy wont to dress me with, 

Misnomers were; That what I seemed to be, 

That am I not; nor ever shall again 

With thoughts so vain, imbue my self conceit. 

Oh, friend ! Thou know'st me not, nor I myself! 

I would thou wert a mind diviner, could 

The turbulence my brain and heart contain, 

Have knowledge of; then with such slothful speed 

Thou could'st not act; Thou say'st thou art in love; 

'Tis false ! Else knowing of my misery, 

Wouldst thou with lightning speed my favor grant ! 

Ada. 

Why, sweetheart ! What a spitfire art thou now 
To twit me with inaction ! By my love, 
(Which Heaven be my witness I aver 
Is treasured next my soul,) I will avouch, 
With wit and limb, by night and day, have I 
Incessantly thy interests advanc'd ! 

Blanche. 

Ah, I do know it well; — Forgive my spleen, 
For senseless spleen it is, and spleen 'tis not, — 
I would the Duke were come ! Forgive me, sweet — 
Why comes he not ? It hath been well announc'd 
He would 'ere noon arrive. 

Ada. Be patient, Blanche, 

Soon will ensue thy hour of good cheer — 



DUCAL HAPS 53 



Blanche. 



Ah ! Would he were less valiant, more discreet, 
Then would I feel secure; yet he will face 
Manhunters by the score, and by his grit 
Yield up his precious life. Oh, friend, bestir ! 
To Cedo go ! A thousand times entreat ! 
And if he then be lax, why still entreat ! 
Why stays the Duke so long ? My Delmot dead ? 
Methinks this long delay hath turn'd my brain ! 
Why, I do seem to see his bleeding corpse, — 
His manly front with cruel wounds agaping; 
Go ! Have Cedo to recall these men 
Or charge them use no violence ! I'll 
Upon the high road wait and greet the Duke 
With such sincere beseechings, ere he comes 
Within the castle gates, he needs must turn. 

{Exit Adelaide ) 
And order give for Delmot's safety — Ah ! 

(Enter Barto with bandaged arm. ) 
Esteemed friend ! none welcome more than thou, — 
How is thy wound ? I hope it pains thee not, 
And yet, alack, thou wouldst have slain Delmot ! 

Barto. 
I would I had — Ne'er lived a meaner wretch ! 

Blanche. 

O say not that ! As thou art friend to me 
So must thou be to him or fail us both. 
Crease not so frowningly thy brow, Oh, Sir, 
Enlist thy better nature and forgive. 

Barto. 

My executioner I might, but he — No! No ! 
Bid me to do aught that mortal man may do, 
(Aye though perdition terminate the act,) and I 
Will cheerfully comply; But for this knave, 
No man to man more enmity can hold 
Than I to him. 

Blanche. For such abhorrence thou 

Hast little cause, since in his self defense 
Not with a venemous aggression was 
Thy wound inflicted. 

Barto. True; For that he dies ! 

Not midst the show of valor he engaged 



54 



DUCAL HAPS 



Opposing our true blades ! But ignominy 
His consort be— about his neck a rope,— 
O'erhead a low'ring sky,— beneath all space, 
Within a fallen trap a sometime prop 
For his ignoble body,— whiles circling 'bout 
The jeering populace deride ! 

Blanche. Sir— Friend ! 

Thou surely wilt not let this come to pass ! 
I feel thou art too warm, too close a friend — 

BarTO. 
Oh, Woman ! Girl ! Why sue ye not for me ? 
The gods, my witness, much more need have I 
To have thy suing, so thou'lt sue thyself 
In my behalf! Hold not thyself so cheap 
As thus to waste upon this sordid dwarf 
Thy wealth of charms: Be mine,— Accept my name, 
My love, — a life's devotion, — all that man 
With utmost effort may his love endow. 

Blanche. 
Oh friend ! Why dost thou tax my feelings so? 
I like you well as friend, and friend remain; 
Not seek attainment of those sacred gifts 
Which woman may but to one man allot; 
And thou dost know— (be it for good or ill) 
Mine's portion'd to Delmot. 

BarTO. A bride elect 

Unto a death's-head surely is thy lot, 

There is no povv'r twixt earth and heav'n can save 

This villain from the hangman ! Think on this 

And make a new selection; Tender me 

This futile love, and by my soul I swear 

A lifelong serfage to thy will ! 

Blanche. Accurs't 

The fatal day that sees him hang'd ! Accurs't 
The executioner and all concerned, 
That have the pow'r and will not render him 
The succor due his innocence ! Accurs't 
Be thou if that thy conscience makes thee not 
Unbend thy cruel will, withdraw thy charge 
And give the valiant Delmot liberty ! 

Barto. 
Sweet as the tinkling of a heav'nly bell 



DUCAL HAPS 55 

Thy voice in censure; maledictions seem 
Like sweetest approbation from thy lips. 
Speak on, 'twill tire thee the rendering 
Ere I grow listless; yet I'd have thee sing 
Me pretty love songs; Sweet, be mine, my wife, 
And never yet lived man nor evc-r shall, 
Whose fiercest love could equal mine for thee ! 
My life, — thy love, — lose one, — lose both; for I 
Do rate my life as naught without thy love. 

Blanche. 

Good Sir ! Why wilt thou urge a fruitless suit! 
No love have I for any but Delmot; 
Should Heaven take him from me I could wish, 
(Unholy wish,) myself enshrouded then. 

Barto. 

His death-knell thou hast spoken ! Let the law 
Unhampered by my protest, take its course. 
Think well; within thy hand thou hold'st a life; 
Be murd'ress if thou wilt. 

Blanche. Did I believe 

That in high Heaven there be mercy stored 

For such inhuman, unforgiving knaves, 

I'd straightway sin past all atonement; yes 

If wedding you be my alternative 

I'll be a murderess and my Delmot, 

(A willing sacrifice) will me forgive; 

Whilst you, until the devil claim your soul, 

Shall unforgiven, with the brand of Cain, 

Wear out your wicked life ! {Exit.) 

Barto. So, so, you shrew ! 

You're not all candy ! no ! some vinegar 

Is coursing through thy pretty blue-hued veins 

Whose acid presence pleases me so well, 

I'll give thee more occasion soon to show, 

(In hotter passion yet), those swollen veins ! 

There's no mistake, she is a beauty, and 

She pleads most beautifully; Should the Duke 

Give her an audience ere I his mind 

Have tempered to my purpose, all may fail ! 

'Twere well I see him first, since his soft heart 

Would surely melt to her persuasion. {Exit.) 

Scene 2.— Hallway in Duke' s palace. Enter valets, etc. 

ist Valet. 
If this will constitute no wonder, then 



5 6 DUCAL HAPS 

I know of none; Of smuggling craft 
No less than ten this fortnight have 
Enriched our public coffers. 

2nd ValKT. Call you this 

A marvel matched with that I have to tell? 
Jean Lelievere is hanged; his troopers have 
Surrendered up their lives and booty both 
Unto the clement rulings of our law; 
And more amazing ! Delmot, whom, you know, 
(111 favor'd, sanguinary dwarf, the Duke's 
Most recent vassal who sweats his hire 
By playing spy on Farriet,) last night 
In deadly peril rushed the portals through, 
With frantic gesture, holding well in sight 
The ducal signet ring, (as 'twere to show 
Authority to pass the gates) — then fled 
With lightning speed to Cedo's chambers, where 
He begged protection from an angry mob, 
Then audible without the palace gates. 
What e'er the talismauic words he spoke, 
No loud command of pompous officer 
To soldiers could more promptly be obeyed; 
Like magic was the crowd dispersed, the while 
Denouncing loudly murderer Delmot. 

ist Valet. 
Delmot a murderer ! It cannot be 
That he hath killed old Farriet? 

2ND Valet. Aye worse ! 

The facts (as near as I could glean last night,) 
Assure that Farriet engaged Delmot 
In deadly combat, taking umbrage at 
Delmot's uncanny power o'er his child, 
And being worsted, was assisted by 
Lord Barto, who in turn was jabbed so hard 
Lord Andreas interfered and it is said 
Is wounded mortally. 

1ST Valet. But then to think 

Delmot for succor and protection, should 
Fly to the hall of justice, when the judge 
Is bosom friend to those he sought to kill. 

2nd Valet. 

Did I not call my tale a marvel — men ? 
Which, readily resolved, is marvel none. 
If any be a prophet bid him tell 
Whereto these wonders tend; likewise explain 
The wherefore of these revolutions here, 
Since that our loving ruler rules us not. 



DUCAL HAPS 57 

1ST VAI,ET. 
Let it content you that Cedo, albeit 
A mirth-infecting wit, takes to his reign 
As he were bred to it; no elder sage 
With overstock of ripe experience could 
More fitly do the honors; if it be 
That he hath caused these smugglers seized, 
Effected Leliviere's late hanging and 
Directed all these many changes, then 
He is a man select, of many pick't; 
But more am I inclined to think he is 
A loaded die whose cast the Duke controls; 
A many stringed puppet that doth act 
As hints the tension of its cords. 

2D Valet. 
Let it suffice you, we are one and all 
Beyond our just deserts well used and go ! 
We judge a faultless hap, a thing as rare, 
And much to be commended, as the few 
Who when they stumble on a raised stump 
Or mount a step not on the steps constructed, 
Stride quickly on and angry words forego. {Exeunt Omnes) 

Scene 3. — A throne room in the Duke' s palace. Duke discovered 
sitting in state attended by Cedo, Lords, BarTO, and Andreas, 
each with a bandaged arm, Courtiers, Guards, etc. 

Duke. 
All being well assembled, time is ripe 
For any that have grievances that ask 
Amelioration of our state, to show 
By word of mouth or sworn petition penned, 
Wherein our late law — representatives 
Have in their novel functions been remiss 
Or by their zeal o'ershot authority. 

Cedo. 
My lord, I think there be no discontents 
Brewed from our exposition of the law, 
Thy mandates duly executed, have 
In all particulars, but one, brought forth 
A perfect satisfaction; — more, my lord 
Than failure to encompass thine intent 
Hath this exception done; since waxing hot 
Are now ensuing new disquietudes; 
The which, I hope, (my most revered lord,) 
Thou wilt reserve thy judgment on, till I 
Some facts (unsuited to the public ear,) 
Have privately conveyed to you. 



58 DUCAL HAPS 



Duke. 'Tis well, 

Good Cedo; As in thy diplomacy 
I have implicit faith, I will defer 
(Until we hold a closet conference,) 
Mine own determinations. Now it seems 
A most auspicious time to call this case, 
Since I have yet to learn the smallest news 
Concerning the aggressor or aggrieved; 
Who be the litigants and what the cause? 

Cedo. 

My lord, the facts are these, — upon the eve 
Of thy departure, (if you recollect,) 
One Farriet, a wealthy merchant here, 
Convicted of the crime of treason, was 
By executive clemency paroled, 
With the express condition, to instal 
Within the bosom of his family, 
Thine own appointee, whose sole duty was 
To keep M. Farriet in espionage. 
My lord, — as in my short acquaintanceship 
With this Delmot, I found in him a man 
Most lovable and loving, I in truth 
Cannot impartially report him; Here 
Two willing witnesses and credible, 
Stand ready to complete the narrative. 

Duke. 

What ! Lord Barto, likewise his friend Andreas, 
Trapped out so grimly with hospital swaths ! 
This must be well explained; for woe be to 
The causers of thy most unsightly plights, 
(If that they dwell not in the great beyond.) 

Barto. 

My lord, (with all due deference,) I will 
Upon thy rights divine, so far encroach 
As censure thy selection of Delmot; 
Believe me, 'twas a most unlucky choice. 
A villain he of deepest die, — a fiend 
Whose crafty, subtle machinations have 
A loving family circle (unsurpassed) 
Most cruelly disrupted and embroiled ! 
The which fell acts, while striving to prevent, 
Were Lord Andreas and my unlucky self 
Made bleeding martyrs. 

Duke. Barto ! speak ye truth ! 



DUCAL HAPS 59 



BARTO. 



As God's my witness I attest within 
The very lines of truthfulness ! My lord, 
Had I a thousand tongues, each one as glib 
As now ding-dongs thine ear, yet would I lack 
Of language to portray the wily moves, 
Insidious advances, artful tricks, 
Devised by this cunning knave, to win 
From sweetest daughter love, from father hate; 
Nor caring whom he hurt thus to proceed 
Were we entangled; Thus, to champion 
An old man's wrongs and set a girl aright, 
Were we to death's door dangerously near. 

Duke. 

Why this recital (lords) amazes me ! 

The knave Delmot from me no orders had 

For such unseemly acts. Incredible ! 

He durst annoint his low plebian sword 

With royal blood ! Where be this reuegade? 

Drag him before us, that our stringent laws' 

Severest penalties be put upon him ! 

Cedo. 

My lord, since yesternight have I not seen 
Nor known his whereabouts; at that fell time, 
He being then in danger of his life, 
Inside my lower chamber refuge took, 
Then as mysteriously disappeared 
As you arrived; since neither your lordship 
Entering the gates nor he departing, 
Our vigilant gate-keepers knoweth of. 

Duke. 

Now by my soul this muddle vexes me ! 
Please you explain wherefrom acquired you 
The right this roof to hold in readiness 
As an asylum with free harborage 
For such law-breaking refugees? 

Cedo. My lord, 

Methinks I acted in authority; 

Since, by thy latest admonition, I 

Was unreservedly to tender him 

All homage, duty and obeisancy, 

Whose hand was graced by thy signet ring. 



60 DUCAL HAPS 

Duke. 

Now by my hopes of future life, I swear 

The ring hath never left my finger ! — Some 

Hallucination tenanted thy brain 

Or slick impostor with a counterfeit 

Hath gulled thee to this false conclusion; Go, 

And ferret out this cheat ! Bring hither straight 

The foul rogue, so we may administer 

Our law's most rig'rous punishment ! 

Cedo. My lord !— 

Duke {aside.) 

{Friend Cedo, mark me not, I do out chaff.) {Exit Cedo.) 

There being many present well informed 
Upon this case, it were advisable, 
The best enlightener diffuse his views 
To form a guidance for our present acts. 

BarTO. 
Your grace, it is my bounden duty to 
Advise you, as a prime expedient, 
To call M. Farriet; by him may you 
Be best instructed. 

Duke. Thy proposal seems 

Right eminently fit. {to officers) 

Hence, to his home 
Bid him attend on us ! 

Andreas. My lord, no need 

To seek him at his erstwhile home, for he, 
Distracted by thy minion Delmot's acts 
And ills resultant, hath his home renounced, 
Abjured all rights of pardon and parades 
The prison corridor with ranting speech, 
Beseeching for a new commitment, which 
Same document, being unfurnished with, 
The jailer stays him out the prison walls. 

Duke. 
Go lead him here ! ( To officers) 

Great must his suff'ring be 
Thus to unman him. 

BarTO. Save your grace, I would 

Your eyes had witnessed his degrading, 'twas 
A most barbaric act; — When Farriet 
With tott'ring step and palsied limbs, 
Strove valiantly his honor to defend 
'Gainst this bloodthirsty wretch Delmot. 



DUCAL HAPS 6 1 

Duke. My lords, 

By present observations, it appears 
This Delmot is a veritable fiend, 
Whose fell career if it be not estopped, 
May presently depopulate our court. 

Andreas. 

But for the fear of capture (true, your grace,) 
He had indeed cut off thy fondest friends, 
Who humbled now before thee, justice beg. 

Duke. 

Why, 'tis an honest plea; All men who plead 
For simple justice, ask their due, — no more; 
Methought thy royal standings (prompting) might 
Induce thy seeking more than equity. 
In justice there's no surfeit; Right with right — 
And wrong with wrong hold equipoise; As ye 
But ask me use the Godess' steel) ards, I 

{Enter Farriet, led in by officers.) 
Will justly act the weigher ! See, who comes ? 
Defer! 'Tis Farriet ! in proper time, 
This discourse we'll renew. Thou craz'd old man ! 
Sufficed it not we pardoned thee thy life, 
But thou straightway must use it 'gainst our peace ? 
Why stay'st thou not within thy proper bound? 

Farriet. 

Aye, let the query stand ! Do but reverse 

The source of answer and give me reply, 

Why 'yond thy customary legal pale 

Thou makest in mine own especial case 

Such strange departures? True, thou gav'st me life, 

For it (unwit'ingly) I tendered thanks 

The which into entreaties I now change 

That thou absolv'st thyself from lenity 

And bid the hangman to his duty straight ! 

Duke. 

Old man, it seemeth wasted charity 
To help one so devoid of rectitude ! 
Thou need'st religion, not a halter. 

Farriet. 
Your grace, I bid you well attend my speech,— 
To moralize (when happy) earns no grace, 
But when adversity and discontent, 



62 DUCAL HAPS 

With subtle, hellish brunt environ us, 
'Tis then upon the gentle, patient brow 
The heavenly halo sits ! 'Tis gospel truth, 
In morals, angels rather love one pupil apt, 
Than twenty teachers hypocritical ! 
Most cruelly dost thou with wicked acts 
Afflict me and my poor belongings, then 
As readily with pious tongue, bid me 
To patiently maintain a godly guise; 
This can I not — My lord — I crave the law ! 

Duke. 
Beware thy tongue, lest thou get'st law galore ! 
Dost realize 'gainst whom thou dost inveigh ? 

FarrieT. 

Full well, your grace, a mighty potentate, 

Who, having option o'er a culprit's fate, 

Did grant him life to form a means whereby 

His worse than death might latterly result ! 

All this now consummate — My home debauch'd — 

My child (who might have wedded royalty) 

By thy confederate Delmot enthrall'd, — 

I beg (who never yet was prone to beg,) 

A speedy death ! 

Duke. Hold Farriet ! Thou say'st 

Thy daughter could (an she be so inclined) 
Mate one of royal blood; Apprise us now 
Who may this noble be ? 

BarTo. A n't please your grace, 

Most earnestly and urgently did I 
To her make tender of my heart and name; 
The which refusing flat for this Delmot, 
Hath well discovered his unearthly pow'r, 
Wherefrom are all these sad haps emanant. 

Duke. 

Stand ye aside ! This Delmot must be found 
And mischief of his making be undone ! 

{Enter Cedo, followed by Blanche and Adelaidk.) 
In proper time ! Bring you the recreant ? 

Cedo. 

Your grace, I think he be immortal sure ! 
Late yesternight (I'll solemnly affirm,) 



DUCAL HAPS 63 



I did ensconce him in my lower room, 

Wherein mine eyes, in searching, find no trace; 

He through the floor or ceiling egress made, 

Or by unnatural evanishment; 

This overcoat, the only vestige left. 

Which late he had upon his back, 

I found in careless pile upon the floor. 

Blanche. 

Is this indeed his garment ? Give it me; — 
A sweet memento, treasured dear ! That I 
May consecrate it as a prayer mat, 
Whereon my ceaseless orisons to breathe 
For his prosperity and safe return. 

Duke. 

Who is this fro ward begging hussy here ? 
It seems we have no courtly ceremonials, 
Since any may approach us on the run ! 

Cedo. 

My lord, I hilmbly beg your pardon, she 
(Whose griefs unbearable impelled her speech) 
Is daughter to M. Farriet. 

Farriet. No ! No! 

I have no progeny ! Time was when I 

A child quiescent to my lightest wish, 

I imagined I was father to; (Alack ! 

For parents' fond delusions,) I mistook 

Her duty was to me, when not athwart 

Her own set will; — Your grace, I have no child. 

Duke. 

Perverse young woman: See thy father's plight, 
Go bid him joy in thy obedience ! 
Have sense ! Look where the noble Barto stands 
With fortune, heart and hand awaiting thee. 

Blanche. {To Duke.) 

Oh, think me not unfilial, your grace, 
In all things else am I most dutiful; 
Believe me, father, I do love thee as 
I love my angel mother; Turn not so, 
Still in thy fond affections hold me dear; 
Please, father, give me blessing ! 

Farriet. Hence ! Begone ! 

I'll none of thee. 



64 DUCAL HAPS 

BarTO. Sweet Mistress Blanche, give heed 

To my proposals, be mine honored wife 
And thus thy father's joy forever be. 

Blanche. 
Away ! Attaint me not with thy lewd touch ! 

Duke. 
Erratic child ! Take counsel of thy sire, 
Be you by him directed; well you know 
His teachings ever were with wisdom fraught. 

Blanche. 
Most noble lord, methought on ent'ring here, 
My tongue let loose in pleading for Delmot, 
Had by its eloquent persuading won, 
In his behalf, thy gracious favor; Now, 
When I, (with thee,) essay to strive for him, 
Speech fails, my tongue obeys me not; My lord, 
I beg indulgence 'gainst thy courtly rites, 
Permit me (sidewise turned) address thine ear, 
Since I, God help, when suing for Delmot, 
With manners feat cannot straight face your grace. 

Duke. 
Is it so bad, you needs must turn in shame ? 

Blanche. 
No, no ! your grade, mine is a sinless shame ! 
Abashed modesty's unwilling blush, 
That now commands me from a brazen eye; 
Believe me, when to thee for him I plead, 
Methinks, most selfishly, I plead for thee. 

Duke. 

If all be not demented, this Delmot 

Is surely a magician ! Bring his robe ! 

I'll try the wizard's magic vestment on 

And do a turn in necromancy; — here 

{Puts on cloak and wig.) 

Enfold me Cedo; — 'tis a perfect fit, 

Why one not wise would think 'twere made for me; 

Doth it become me, think you worthy lords? 

{All stand in amazement and with -profound courtesies, exclaim, 
"Delmot, the Duke/" Blanche holds out her arms beseech- 
ingly, then jails despairingly into Adelaide's embrace.) 

Duke. 
In happy time my loved one, I'll first 
On these satanic malefactors spend 
Mine evil parts, so naught but good remains ! 



DUCAL HAPS 65 

Barto. 
Most gracious Prince, it ill becomes me to 
Approach thee with a genuflecting knee, 
Since in thy grace's estimation I 
Rank lowest of the low, yet will I beg 
Thou savest me from a noble Roman's death, 
And forthwith send me to the hangman. 

Andreas. 

Your grace, I humbly beg his plea be mine, 
To quickly grant me speedy death. 

Duke. Not I — 

Thy fate rests in the disposition of 

Thy victim, Farriet, in him behold 

Thy jury, judge and executioner! 

CQme jail the knaves: Guard well, and see to it 

They find not happiness in suicide ! 

Now Farriet, I'll ask a boon of thee. 

(Exeunt Barto, Andreas, Cedo, courtiers, guards, etc.) 

Farriet. 

Your grace, I pray you mock me not ! I am 
Humiliated so I dare not face 
My fellow men — 

Duke. No more of that, old friend; 

A short time since I made request of thee 
(In matrimonial way) thy daughter's hand, 
A fond renewal this, my present plea; 
I pray thy answer now be changed. 

Farriet. I have 

Been somewhat too familiar with your grace; — 
Unwittingly I then denied thee what 
I held some loving jurisdiction o'er, 
But now, alas, when I would fain oblige, 
Mine act unnatural doth thwart my will, 
Your grace, I have no child to give ! 

(Enter Cedo, who seems to converse with Ada.) 
Blanche. O, Sire ! 

Withdraw those cruel words, and bid me nestle in 

Thy fatherly embrace ! (Farriet embraces Blanche.) 

(Duke gently strives to draw her to him. ) 

Nay hold me close ! ( To Farriet.) 



66 DUCAL HAPS 

Pray let's begone; This pleasant agony 
May yet unseat my wits. 

(Duke draws Blanche under his left arm and with his rigfit 
extracts papers from his pocket. ) 

Duke. Oh no, my sweet, 

Ere you depart, for tbine own private ear 
I have an ancient tale, that's always new, — 
While in recital, look you well on these: 

{Passes papers to Farriet.) 
Therein you'll find a true succinct account 
Of devilish plots by Barto and Andreas, 
To wreck the sweet alliance holy of 
A good contented family; Scan well ! 
And, by my princely honor I affirm 
What'er thy findings he, thy verdict will 
Minutely foretell consumnatiou. 

Farriet. Thanks. 

(Farriet retires and reads papers.) 
Duke. 

And now, my sweet, wilt thou now overlook 
The crucial tests my all absorbing love 
Hath given thee and seek thy haven here 
In husband's loving arms ! As I won thee 
In this uncomely coat — 

Blanche. That did ye not, 

As I of late confessed; 'Twas in thy robe 
Of ducal power that my hejrt was won. 

Duke. 

Then thus I doff this sometime useful rag, 
To clothe me to thy pristine love ! 

{Divests himself of coat, etc.) 
Blanche. My lord, 

I am beside myself! pray let me go ! 
Thy greatness overwhelms me ! 

DUKE. Nay, my love. 

No royal greatness o'ertops purity. 
A woman true is mate for any king ! 

( They retire. Adelaide and Cedo come forward, both gazing 
after the Duke and Blanche. ) 

Cedo. 
My, how those doves now pine for company. 

■we. 



DUCAL HAPS 67 

Ada. 
As undertakers yearn for healthy friends. 

Cedo. 
Mark how his dignity is lost in love — 

Ada. 
I would thou hads't some dignity to lose. 

Cedo. I hope thou art not getting choleric; 
A bogus ducat for thy feelings love ? 

Ada. 

Know then, I feel as illconditioned as 
A dainty stomach with an empty purse; 
For I am faint, yet have the wherewithal 
To buy the market's finest delicates. 

Cedo. 

My love, thou woulds't not have the honeymoon 
Before the ringing of the marriage bells? 
And neither maid nor wife nor widow be 
A standing guy for pious charity. 

Ada. 

'Tis coarse, — 'Tis poetry, which at its best 
Is naught but erudite lunatic thought; — 
'Tis ancient, antedating JSsop's tales; — 
Antiquity evolves sublimity — 
Therefore sublime, — 'Tis said, " 'Tis but a step 
From the sublime to the ridiculous." 

Cedo. 

Now by my heart consuming love, I'll take 

That vital step and folly's wisdom shake ! {Steps up to Ada.) 

Capitulate ! or by my love, I swear ! 

No bridal vesture of my choice you'll wear ! 

Come now, my love, thy lips armistice claim, 

Thy cute dissembling acts deny in vain; 

Sweet love, thy lips; no more hostility, 

We'll wear out life in love's tranquility. 

(Cedo and Adelaide retire.) 
{Forward Duke, Farriet and Blanche ) 

Duke. 
Good father Farriet, art yet resolved 
On sentence holding fitting punishment 



68 DUCAL, HAPS 

For thy most heartless persecutors here ? 
Be you assured, no sentence so severe. 
No penalty so harsh, but what we will give 
Immediate order for its execution ! 

Farriet. 

Most gracious prince ! I humbly tender thanks; 

From information writ, it doth appear, 

Lords Barto and Andreas do well deserve 

A heavy punishment; Time was, your grace, 

(Not long since gone,) when I, with spiteful tongue, 

Had cried them to the whipping post and then 

Had found a pleasure in their hanging; Now 

The gilded dross of carnal thought hath been 

Transmuted to the purest gold ! I have 

No plaint 'gainst any man; The Lord hath said — 

"Vengeance is mine !" Let them with Him abide. 

Duke. 

As thou quot'st holy scripture, so will I, — 
"A tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye;" 
Our duty straight is plainly here set forth, 
No lesser punishment will fit their case, 
Than that they now be publicly disgraced, 
And then forever banished our domain ! 

Farriet. 
Your grace, 'tis rather stern, yet suites me well. 
(Duke, Farriet and Blanche seem to co7isult about contents of 

paper. Forward Cedo and Adelaide who converse in low 

tones. ) 

Cedo. 

In love, the seconds into minutes turn, 
The minutes into hours, hours to days, 
And days into interminable years, 
When on the tenter-hooks of lapsing time 
Between affiance and the marriage rite ! 

Ada. 

Why, Cedo, how thy love doth grow apace ! 
Anon thou'lt have me breaking customs, which 
Forbid me expedite the nuptial knot ! 
I prithee, patience now, and bide the time 
(But six days hence,) when at the altar we 
Will plight an everlasting troth. 



DUCAL HAPS 69 

Cedo. {very loudly) No ! No ! 

'Twould seem indecent haste to wed to-day ! 
I pray (as savior for thy modesty) 
Thou stay'st the time awhile 'tween wedding and 
Our unannounced bans ! Be patient, girl ! 
Incessantly henceforth I'll fondle thee 
And swiftly glide the grudged interim. 

Ada. 
Why, thou dissembler ! Friends, he hath but now 
For his exhausted lungs, recovered breath, 
Spent in imploring me to lop the time, 
Whose non-existing brevity he now condemns. 

Duke. 

Right well we know, friend Cedo did but jest; 

Yet lurking in his banter, deftly wrought, 

Were supplications cutely manifest, 

That goad us to the blest arcadia sought 

By all true lovers: Lady loves, are you 

Content all other maidens to outdo, 

By waving trite conventionalities 

And with us to the priest, thus to appease 

Thy famished swain ? * 

Ada. Well, Blanche, what say you then, 

Shall we oblige these fond, impatient men ? 

Blanche. 
Sweet Ada, I'm afraid if we deny 
(Judged by thy Cedo's sighing,) both would die. 

Duke. 
Beseech you, then, revive our waning lives, 
Becoming presently our loving wives. 

FarrieT. 
Their silence with consent now blended, 
Announces clear, our play is ended. 
All dramas should a moral show, 
And ours, too palpable, I trow 
Hath taught, that in combat with sin, 
Virtue triumphantly will win. 
As for the actors, let each say 
The which wit prompts about the play. 

Cedo. To please you we have striven hard, 
Ada. Though we've but spoken by the card; 
Blanche. We trust our efforts were not vain, 
Duke. And hope to see you all again. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII 

016 102 986 5 # 



